I'm just your average 20-something woman who gets spankings from her husband when she needs them...and loves every minute of it (usually!)

Saturday, 25 June 2011


It's just been one of those days. I know, I know...I seem to have a lot of "those days". I don't know what it is lately! I've just been stressed, and tired, and out of sorts. Usually, I'm a lot more bubbly, especially around this time of year. I think the constant rain and thunderstorms we've been having haven't made it feel a lot like June. I need some sun!

So anyway, Leo and I have a wedding to attend tomorrow and I decided to go search for a dress to wear today. I found a store that's usually super expensive, but there was a sale! Needless to say, I was pretty happy because that store hardly ever has sales. Their idea of a Boxing Day discount is $3.00 off, which is hardly anything considering their prices are so high to begin with. So, I went in and tried on a few dresses and found one I liked. Then I figured that I'd been working hard lately and deserved a reward, so I found a few other items. The grand total was $300.00 (yikes!) and I headed down to the food court afterward to grab some dinner. After dinner, I went on an unsuccessful search for shoes for about an hour and got in the car to go home. That's when I realized I didn't have my bag of clothes.

I remembered that I'd left the bag under the table while I'd been eating my dinner. I ran back inside, but of course the bag was gone. I asked everyone - guest services, the janitors, surrounding restaurants, the store I'd made the purchases at. Nothing. I gave them my phone number and the items I'd lost, but I'm pretty sure there's someone out there enjoying their free new clothes. So much for rewarding myself! All I lost was $300.00 in the process. Leo was very understanding about it and said it could happen to anyone, but I'm still kicking myself. I'm always so excited when I get new clothes! I just don't understand some people. If I found a bag of clothes with a receipt totalling $300.00, or a bag of anything at all that had been left behind, I would turn it in without a second thought. Aren't there any Good Samaritans left?!

In other news, I got that spanking a couple of days ago. It was a playful spanking - 200 spanks total, with teasing every 50. Leo tries so hard, and I really appreciate it. I know I've been short-tempered lately, and he's been so patient and caring. I have such an excellent husband!

What's new with everyone else? Does anyone else have any stories like mine to share, so that I don't feel like such a complete idiot? Haha. I hope everyone is having a lovely first few days of summer! I will post soon.

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Busy, Busy, Busy

Whew! I just need to take a deep breath, and so I thought I'd stop in here and post. It's been a crazy week, and I've been loaded with work. It's been one thing after another and falling into bed has been the best part of my day! Things seem to be slowing down now though, which I am grateful for.

Let's see, let's see. What's been happening? Well, last weekend Leo and I went to a race. Leo is very into racing cars, and loves to go see races at a track not too far from our home. I'm not always the biggest fan; to me, it's just cars going in circles! But it's important to him, and it was a fairly big race, so I tagged along. It turned out to be an okay night! Leo does so much for me, so I figured I could sacrifice a Saturday evening to do something that matters to him. We also saw the movie Bridesmaids - has anyone seen it? Hilarious! I'd see it again in a heartbeat! Even though it's meant to be a chick flick, Leo was laughing a lot, and so were the other men in the theatre. It's a little scandalous perhaps, but I suppose spankos know all about that! ;)

Speaking of spankos, I'm due for that spanking I was promised before I got sick. I only have a bit of a cough now (thanks for the lemon and honey tips in the comments!), and Leo has decided it's time. We just have to decide when. He is also going to spank me for a couple of other things. One of them is how I've been behaving in the car. I can be a nervous driver sometimes, and Leo tends to be a bit bossy as a passenger. This results in me getting snippy in the car, and talking back to him a lot. He's decided that he's had enough, so that's earned me a spanking too. I've also just been quick to talk back in general, which he's been pretty understanding about because I've been so stressed. But his patience is starting to wear thin. And, on top of that, I still can't manage to get to bed on time! My butt is in for it. He also wants to work on submission some more, by using that method where he gets me close to orgasm and refuses to allow me to come for a certain amount of time. If I have my orgasm before I'm allowed, I get spanked.

I always find myself craving a spanking, especially during a time like this when I've got a million things on my mind and just need to decompress. Then I get bent over Leo's knee, and after the first ten swats I wonder why I ever wanted a spanking in the first place! Right now we've just got to carve out a time in our busy lives to give me what I guess I deserve. I haven't had a spanking in awhile, and Leo's been getting stricter. I have a feeling that if I get out of position, it's not going to end well!

I'll try to come back and write another post soon, but no promises. June is always such a hectic month. I hope that everyone is doing well! :)

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Unwarranted Punishments

We trust that our HOHs will be fair and honest. We trust that they will know what's best for us. But the truth is, HOHs are only human. There will be times when they have had a bad day at work and spank all too quickly, or spank us for something that we don't truly deserve to be spanked for. But, as submissives, we are often under the belief that it is completely up to our HOHs to decide when to spank us. We feel that it is not our job to tell them when they can and can't give us a spanking; that would defeat the entire purpose of this relationship style. After a spanking, it is common to feel loved and taken care of and forgiven. However, if we are being spanked for something that we don't deserve to be spanked for, those feelings probably won't be present after the punishment. We might feel angry, resentful, and bitter toward the HOH. And that also defeats the purpose of domestic discipline.

An HOH might spank out of anger, which is always a big no-no. Similarly, an HOH could spank because they're frustrated due to outside factors, and consequently might spank too severely and too readily. I read about one scenario where a spankee and her family was being insulted, and the HOH did nothing to support or defend her. Because she was upset about it, and not knowing what else to do, he spanked her. I think that sometimes, spankees feel that they have to accept their punishments because they need to be submissive and obedient. They feel that if something is wrong, or if they disagree with something that the HOH has said or done, they can't express that. I think that communication is key.

I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
Benjamin Disraeli

Now, I'm pretty sure that Benjamin Disraeli wasn't referring to DD relationships in this quote. But I do think that it can be very relevant to DD. A successful leader follows his people and understands their wants and needs so that he can understand how to cater to and provide for them. An HOH is, essentially, a leader. I think that in order to be a successful one, he needs to really understand what his partner needs. If he's spanking or punishing unfairly, then I don't think that it's unacceptable to explain it to him. That doesn't mean that you have to shout it at him, or curse at him, or anything of the sort. If you speak to him rationally about the issue, he won't have any reason to feel that you are disrespecting him. This is totally okay! Spankees are allowed to voice their concerns and their thoughts. Even though the HOH is in charge, the marriage/relationship is still a partnership, and the HOH should still value what their partner has to say. There will be times when the HOH will want to spank his partner and the partner won't feel that she warrants the spanking. DD is all about correcting harmful behaviour. It could be behaviour that's harmful to the spankee, harmful to the marriage, or harmful to others. The punishments are meant to help the spankee acknowledge and reflect on the behaviour and correct it. If the spankee winds up feeling bitter and angry after a spanking, then the desired results obviously haven't been achieved.

However, there is a difference between not wanting a spanking and not deserving a spanking. There are times when Leo thinks that I need to be spanked, and although I know that I've earned the spanking, I just don't feel like being spanked. That doesn't mean that Leo is being unfair. But, if he were to have a bad day and try to severely spank me for small and unimportant infractions, that would be unfair. If it's a punishment spanking, no one ever truly wants one. But if it becomes a battle every time the HOH mentions a spanking, that's when trouble starts to brew. For the most part, HOHs will probably be justified in their decision making. Most couples have probably had several discussions about DD and rules and punishments. There's just that odd occasion when something goes slightly awry.

A lot of HOHs, especially newer ones, aren't always completely comfortable in their roles. They might not completely understand what it means to be HOH. A lot of DD relationships are initiated by the spankee, who expresses her desire/need to be spanked. The HOH might interpret that as simply a request to be spanked, but not led. It takes awhile to really get a good grip on being authoritative over their partner, and they might feel isolated at times when they're not sure how to handle something. This is why communication is so critically important. DD is supposed to provide stability in a relationship. The HOH and his partner work as a team to combat issues that come up. So many spankees struggle to make their feelings known to their HOHs. We often neglect the fact that it can be tough on them, too. We are going to make mistakes, and our HOHs are going to make mistakes. This journey isn't easy by any means, but it doesn't have to be made alone.

Has anyone ever experienced a situation where they felt that their HOH was punishing them unfairly? How was it handled? I feel like this is an issue that is very realistic in DD, and that a lot of couples have to face at some point. I'm interested to see how the situations were dealt with! I'll leave you with one last quote to think about...

Authority should be seen as a part of leadership, not as a way around it.
Michael McKinney

Hope that everyone is having a great weekend! :)

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Growing Into Spanking

Like many other spankos, when I was growing up I knew that I had a kink for spanking. Even as a young child I knew. As I entered my teen years, I started to feel very awkward about these feelings that I possessed. I didn't think that being interested in spanking was normal, nor was I aware of the hundreds of other people who shared the same kink that I did. Having sexual interests like spanking is difficult in some ways, because sexual fantasies are not something that are generally shared with people, be it your best friend or the guy you just met in the elevator. I had no way of knowing if anyone else felt the same way. I felt ashamed, and also worried. Would I ever be able to tell my future partner about my interest? How would he feel about it?

When I learned about DD for the first time and realized that it was something I wanted to incorporate into my life, it was shortly before I met Leo. This just added to my burden of stress regarding spanking. How would my boyfriend or husband feel about disciplining me? More specifically, how would he feel about spanking me as the punishment? At this point, I didn't realize how many DD relationships began because of the wife's suggestion. When I think of my vanilla friends, if their husbands ever mentioned spanking them as a punishment I can only imagine what would happen. Their suitcases would probably be packed and by the front door. Deep down, I wanted a man who would want to punish me; who I wouldn't have to ask. I knew that the chances of finding a man like that were slim to none. So when I met Leo, after a little while I mustered up my courage and told him about spanking and DD. But it wasn't that easy.

I knew that the idea of DD sparked somewhere inside of me. But I was, and still am, a very independent woman. I was the girl whose grandmother told her to "always vote because there were women who fought hard for her right to" (which is excellent advice, in my opinion). I believed in gender equality 100%. And yet I was going to allow a man to flip me over his knee and spank me whenever he saw fit? I really struggled with this. When I envisioned a powerful businesswoman, I didn't picture a red butt under her tailored pantsuit. At times when I was angry or frustrated with something, I would try to picture a man trying to spank me at that moment. I knew that in scenarios like that in a DD relationship, I might get spanked. I usually just thought, "Screw it - there's no way I would accept a spanking right now. I'm way too frustrated." It wasn't until later that I realized that in a DD relationship, it wouldn't be up to me. If he thought I needed a spanking, I'd be getting a spanking. End of story.

As for the equality issue, I started to do some reading. I started to comprehend that wives submit to their husbands when their husbands are fair, respectful and loving. If the husband is being fair, respectful, loving, protective, etc., then there is no reason for the wife not to submit. In the office, and with my friends, I am a strong-willed and secure woman. When I'm with Leo, I simply accept what it is he has to say and what he deems is appropriate. Leo and I don't want the relationship to turn into something where I feel that I can't voice my opinion or my thoughts because he is the one who has the final say. He still values everything that I have to say, which is so important to me. I think that when people start DD, they want a guide book. They want someone to say "This is what you do and how you do it". But the truth is, what works for one couple isn't going to work for another. No DD relationship is going to be the same. Leo doesn't want me to be quiet and not tell him what I'm thinking. That isn't what either of us want. I know that he wants what's best for me, but if there's something I don't agree with, I'm not afraid to mention it. I've always had a bit of a "black-and-white" outlook on things. I can be very opinionated, and I speak my mind when I think I need to. I don't do this in a professional setting, but at home, I often say what I'm thinking. Leo knows the difference between my pleading when I know I deserve a spanking, and when I'm genuinely trying to communicate with him. It can be tough, but I think we are getting the hang of it.

Leo has also tried other "punishments" that are slightly more sexual in nature. For example, last week after a spanking, he made me hold my legs while he teased me. He told me that I would not be allowed to orgasm for 30 minutes, and if I did, I would receive 500 spanks. It was super difficult, but I made it! He was nice at the end :). However, I think it's something that he wants to try again. I can't decide if I like it or not. An orgasm is always nice, but a hard 500 spanks isn't! It's a good submission exercise though, knowing that I am under his control and that if I don't obey him, my butt will pay the price.

After my 3 and a half hour wait at the walk-in clinic yesterday, the doctor told me that I only had a virus that would have to go away on its own. My sore throat is feeling a bit better, but my cough has been keeping me up at night. I'm just trying to drink lots of fluids and get this bug out of my system! Leo has been a very excellent caretaker. I read in a magazine once that you know it's true love when your boyfriend/husband holds your hair back while you vomit. Gross, but also true!

I'll try to post soon. Hope everyone is doing well and that the weather is warm wherever you are!

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Just Popping By

I think I was wrong about my sinus headache. My sore throat has suddenly become very severe, and I was running a bit of a fever last night. I'm hoarse, and I have a cough to boot. This is a horrible time of year to be sick. I don't want to complain, but it's sunny and warm out and I want to be outdoors, but instead I'm in bed! I decided to stay home from work today, and I'm going to go to the doctor in a couple of hours to see what's up.

A few days ago I was promised another spanking due to my bad bedtime habits. Somewhere around 150 swats, I think. Leo told me he won't give me them until I feel better, which is nice of him, but it also makes the anticipation a lot worse. I feel like we need to establish some general rules or something. Sometimes, the HOH and the submissive are going to feel differently about different things. While Leo and I don't curse a lot, we do sometimes, and that is something that I would really like to stop doing. Cursing bothers me, but it doesn't bother him very much. I don't want to lower my standards in order to match his, but it also doesn't seem very reasonable for him to spank me for something that he does too. I guess there are some rules that just go without saying, like respecting him and obeying him when he wants me to do something. Maybe the best thing to do is sit down and discuss things. Even though I want Leo to be the leader in this relationship, I think I can still voice how I'm feeling without trying to assume control. Things are going pretty well for us DD-wise lately, especially considering how new all of this is for us. It's like doing a puzzle - you get all of the outside pieces fit together first, and you fill in the rest as you go. Working at it is what makes you appreciate the final result.

Well, I think I'm going to go take another nap before that doctor's appointment! Going to the doctor makes me nervous; I'm not good with blood or needles or anything of the sort (I fainted in Grade 11 Biology when we watched a video about the heart...). Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong, though, and I'll be back on track soon! Then again, being back on track means I'm going to get that spanking.

Hmm. I just can't win!

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Kitchens, Allergies, and Lemonade

I really wish that the kitchen renovations were over. I'm so tired of the house being a complete mess! Because we don't have a kitchen sink or dishwasher right now, I've been doing our dishes in a bin in the bathtub. The house also smells like paint and is filled with dust from sanding and drywalling, and I don't want to eat out any more. The fridge, the toaster, the coffee maker and all of the dishes/cutlery are in the dining room. I think our dog is also unhappy, because he's stuck in the living room while various workers come in and out daily. We will all be glad when this process is over, and when we (hopefully!) have a beautiful kitchen!
I suffer from seasonal allergies, mainly pollen, and they've been pretty bad the last couple of weeks. Ever since Monday I've had a pounding headache that hurts even more when I bend over, accompanied by dizziness, sneezing, a sore throat, and a cough. I also had some cold shivers for a couple of days there. I usually just have itchy and watery eyes, along with a lot of sneezing, but after some Google research I concluded that I'm having a sinus headache. It's not fun! Advil and Reactine have become my best friends. I didn't even want to go to work on Monday, but I had a lot of things to do and so I went anyway. Things get so stressful around this time of year, and I think that that isn't very helpful. Leo's given me a few swats on the butt to try and keep me in line, but I will be relieved when I can just take a breather!
There's not much else to report, really. We went out with some friends last night, which was fun. Today we went to Leo's parents' for dinner, and we decided to try and make some homemade lemonade. I think it turned out really well! I'll include the recipe we used below.

Old Fashioned Lemonade Recipe

  • 8 to 10 medium to large lemons. This should get about 1 1/2 cups of lemon juice.
  • 5 cups water
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  1. Use room temperature lemons to make them easier to juice. Roll the lemons on a countertop using your palm to soften them up and make them easier to juice.
  2. Juice the lemons and take the seeds out, using a strainer or sieve if you also want it pulp free.
  3. Bring 1 cup of the water to a boil in a saucepan and slowly add the sugar. Cook slowly over a low heat, stirring gently until all the sugar is dissolved.
  4. Remove this mixture from the heat and add the lemon juice while it's still warm. This makes a lemon syrup. I usually have extra lemon juice on hand in case there is a need to adjust the flavor later. Put the syrup in the fridge to cool down completely.
  5. Once the syrup is cooled you're ready to make lemonade. Add the syrup to the other 4 1/2 cups of ice cold water. This makes a decent sized pitcher of lemonade. Add sugar if it's too tart. Add more water or lemon juice if you find it too sweet.

We put some raspberries in the pitcher to float on top of the lemonade for a nice touch. Lemon/orange wedges, cherries, and whole strawberries are also nice additions, and perhaps a mint garnish (if you want to get fancy!). We only added a little bit of extra sugar, which we probably didn't need. We used the juice from 7 1/2 lemons and it turned out great! It was a big hit. Another good idea might be to fill an ice cube tray with water, and put a raspberry or two in each cube to freeze. Then, as the cubes melt in the lemonade later, the raspberries are freed. We used half of a lemon to wet the rims of the glasses, and then we dipped the rims in sugar. It was a nice treat for a fairly hot evening!

I hope everyone is doing well. I will try to post soon!

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Hot Weather and Hot Bottoms

Finally! After all of that rain, we're getting some sun! In fact, we're getting a lot of sun. Yesterday, there was a heat advisory issued and it was incredibly humid and hot; almost too hot. Today is much nicer, because the humidity is gone but the sun has been shining all day and the temperature isn't quite so high. I've finally been able to start wearing skirts and dresses again, which I was excited about until I realized that it makes it much easier for Leo to have access to my butt! I learned that the hard way yesterday when he gave me about 50 swats. He thought it was pretty funny, but I didn't!

We're struggling a bit with the difference between kinky spanking and discipline spanking. My interest in spanking started out with the idea of erotic spanking, and it wasn't until later that I discovered the existence of DD. So, obviously spanking is a turn-on for me. Leo knows that. Some spankings that are meant to be disciplinary end up making both of us a little "turned on" sometimes, and I feel like that defeats the whole purpose! I know that some couples incorporate other aspects of a punishment, such as corner time, mouth soaping, writing lines, etc. While none of those sound particularly appealing, I think that writing lines and standing in the corner for an hour probably wouldn't push my buttons, if you know what I mean. I'm completely fine with playful kinky spankings - don't get me wrong. I just want them to be separate from punishment spankings. However, I've already mentioned that I usually get spanked for minor issues, like breaking my bedtime curfew or talking back. While I definitely feel remorseful as my butt receives a volley of spanks, I don't feel as though I've truly disappointed him.  I haven't needed to be spanked for a major issue yet, and if (or should I say when) that day ever comes, then perhaps the dynamic of the spanking will change. I don't think there's anything kinky about being spanked for staying out way too late and forgetting to call, or spending way too much money, or anything of that nature. I think that Leo would be genuinely upset and angry in a scenario like that.

I've read about other people involved in this lifestyle who worry about "topping from the bottom". I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to go with the flow and give myself, and Leo especially, time to experiment and adjust. So far, this whole DD thing seems to be working out pretty well! I was doubtful when I suggested it, because most men are taught growing up that you don't ever hit a woman. I know how shocked I was when I read my first DD article, and I could only imagine how Leo would feel when his wife asked him if he would give her a hard spanking when she misbehaved. I had always fantasized about a husband who would just want to spank me, but luckily I met a man who was very open to trying and who found that this works for him too. I know that there will be lots of ups and downs and forks in the road, but we are both willing to make this work. I've been able to embrace this part of me, and Leo has been able to embrace a part of him that he never really knew about. Whatever happens on this journey, we've got each other...and that's the most important thing.