My, my, my...it's been awhile, hasn't it? In a little over a week it will be December, and I realize my last post was early October. A spankworthy offence, I'd say!
Too bad I don't need an excuse to be spanked. Leo is certainly finding lots of those! He has really been cracking down lately. Maybe it was the argument we had about a month ago. We had been crazy busy - hence my lack of posting - and Leo had been travelling around for work. Needless to say, I was restless at home and missing my husband, and work was stressful for me too. So one day, I just lost it. I went on and on about how much I need and crave discipline, and how I really want this DD thing to work. I wasn't really expecting him to listen. I hoped he would, but in the back of my mind I knew that getting a man to adjust to this lifestyle takes time and patience. Leo got a little defensive at first, but then he just stood there, hands on hips, as I spewed my criticisms. Then, when I was out of breath and had nothing left to say, he said, "So are you done, then?"
I just shook my head at him, crossed my arms, and rolled my eyes - the true attitude of a brat. He pointed at the bed and said, "Good. Get your ass over the side of the bed now."
Okay, so at this point I was shocked, to say the least. I hadn't expected such an instant transformation. Just a few moments before, I had been ranting and raving and being the assertive one...a practice we spankos know as "topping from the bottom". The fast turnaround and role-reversal was startling! Suddenly, I had to try and switch into submissive mode, which was not easy to do. Leo sensed my hesitation and said, "If you want a spanking, then I'll give you one. Bend over the bed." I took a couple of slow steps and obeyed his orders, my mind spinning. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't refuse a spanking when I had just gotten frustrated with him for not making an effort with DD. Part of me was secretly thrilled and excited, and the other part was nervous and a little bit apprehensive of his suddenly authoritative tone. After I had bent over the bed, he left the room.
Ten minutes or so later, he came back. He had something in his hand but wouldn't let me see what it was. He wasted no time striding over toward the bed and delivering several sharp smacks to my butt. I started wiggling, and by this point I think he had lost all patience. After I had chewed him out, he wasn't willing to give me any leeway. That's when I felt the jeans coming down.
"Oh my God, Leo!" And down they came.
This was a strange position to be in. A lot of the time, it's been me hinting and nudging towards spankings, and trying to establish circumstances where I felt punishment was due. But I secretly always wanted a husband who would take control, and I hadn't had that. All of a sudden I did, and to see Leo become assertive, and to see what a helpless position I was in, was really different.
Leo spanked my panty clad butt for a couple of minutes, but my squirming really ticked him off. My pain tolerance isn't super high, and even though I want spankings, it's not always easy to stay still! This prompted him to take me over his knee instead, where he pinned down my legs and yanked the panties down too.
"Isla, if you want spankings and discipline so much in your life, then so be it. If you think that this will be beneficial for our marriage, fantastic. But I will not have you talking down to me, or treating me the way you just did. And should you ever try to do it again, you'll find yourself in the same position you're in now." Then he brought out the secret weapon he'd been hiding earlier...a ping pong paddle! He dug it out of the basement. I had no idea we'd even owned one, but before I knew it, it was delivering some pretty stingy, sharp smacks to my bare butt. It wasn't long before I was wiggling all over the place!
Afterward, my butt was red and I was a little teary. We cuddled for awhile, and I apologized for the way I'd treated him. I knew that that spanking - our first real spanking - hadn't been easy for him, but I really appreciated the effort he'd made. And since then, he's made a lot more efforts. Let me elaborate.
Even though I'd tried to show Leo spanking sites and blogs before, he'd pretended to be interested, but I didn't know how much he was actually absorbing. After that spanking, he decided to do some research. He's mentioned a lot of different things. He's suggested the IcyHot that I discussed a few months back but we never got around to trying, on an already punished bottom or one about to be spanked - yeow! He knows now that spanking a wet bottom makes it sting more, so he often likes to spank me after showers. He's also mentioned mouth soaping (I will admit that I can have a foul mouth sometimes), corner time, and even butt plugs. We've never experimented much with anal play, partly because I've always been a little wary of it and Leo has always been nervous to hurt me. But now he seems to be toying (pardon the pun!) with the idea. We've had spankings since the spanking I just told you about, and Leo has decided that he will not permit me to clench my butt cheeks. Let me tell you - that's hard to do! There have been a couple of times where he has given extra swats due to clenching, and other times he puts me in positions where my legs are spread pretty far apart so that clenching is more difficult. Those positions are very humbling to be in because everything's exposed. However, all of this no-clenching business has prompted him to look into figging (ginger root) instead of a butt plug. Apparently when you clench, it stings even more! Yikes. I have also been neglecting a lot of housework lately, and Leo talked about buying an assortment of butt plugs in different sizes and having me clean the house. Each hour, he will take out the plug and insert a bigger one until I get the job done. Now I'm not sure if he would actually do this, and it would probably be awhile until we could because we'd need to start out small with the plugs. But the fact that he's getting all of these ideas is both exciting and a little frightening...
All of this sounds crazy. I know, I don't really believe it either! But the progress we've made since my last post is rather incredible, and I wanted to be able to share it with all of you. :)
I also wanted to share a Spankingtube video. I do enjoy Spankingtube. I prefer the DD videos to the BDSM ones by far, and I enjoy the punishment ones over the erotic ones. I also don't really get anything out of watching men spanked by women, but that's just me. The user in the video link that I'm posting below is fantastic. I just discovered him the other day! He's a very effective spanker. His spankings are hard and definitely drive the message home, but they're also accompanied by a lot of lecturing and scolding. Some people don't like the scolding because they think it distracts from the spanking, but I think it adds to it! Hearing the spanker say "Get your pants down" or "Your bottom is getting a lot redder" or "Push that bottom up so I can punish it properly" enhances the spanking, in my opinion. It also establishes that spanker/spankee connection. There are a few videos and users on Spankingtube that I like to watch, and so I think every once in awhile I will include a link or a little blurb about them in my posts.
http://www.spankingtube.com/video/12075/sarah-spanked-11-17-2011
I am hoping that this link works! If I were tech-savvy, then I might be able to actually upload the video to this page, but unfortunately I'm not.
I'm sorry that I haven't been around lately. Even though I've still been checking in on other blogs, I haven't had much time to make a lot of comments or write a post of my own. But I've been thinking of all of you, I promise!
I'd best be off to bed now, because like I said, Leo is cracking down...and tonight, I don't want it to be on my bottom!
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Monday 3 October 2011
Fall Fever
Well, it is unquestionable that fall is here. There is a large maple tree at the end of our street, and I swear that every time I go by, more leaves have fallen. I do like fall - there's something warm and cozy about it. I love the changing colours of the leaves and that "fall" smell outside, and the feeling of a fresh new start. Often, Leo and I will head up to my parents' cottage for Thanksgiving (the Canadian one is this weekend). Sadly, we won't be doing that this year, but when we do go up, the colours changing up North are incredible. There's other things I love about fall too...for example, Leo and I went apple picking yesterday. It was grey out, and it rained near the end, but it was still a fun time! Leo had never really been apple picking before we met, and now we make it into a yearly tradition. It's fun to go out, get some fresh air, and eat the apples right off the tree!
I also love the smells and tastes of fall. In the last three days, I've gotten a Starbucks each day. I'm a sucker for Starbucks. Now, Leo would ordinarly be a bit peeved, seeing how Starbucks is pretty expensive...but I've got him hooked too! Their Pumpkin Spice Latte is ridiculously good, and it's only out in the fall!! I also like the Bath & Body Works scents that come out around this time of year; there's a cinnamon-y pumpkin one I like, and they've got some great smelly candles that I can't wait to get my hands on. Oh, and those cute pumpkin soap holders...sigh. I think I'm getting a little carried away, but what can I say? I've got fall fever!
I got a little spanking yesterday, just to ensure that my butt matched the red leaves falling. It was just a random "maintenance" type spanking - not punishment. In a way, I really cherish those spankings. It shows that he's still interested in catering to my needs and wants, even when I'm not acting up. We never did try that Icy Hot thing, but I know it's still in the back of his mind somewhere. Occasionally, he'll make a vague reference to things like butt plugs or purchasing new implements, but I'm not sure if he's just teasing/threatening or being serious. While I'm a pretty sexual person, I am unsure how I feel about the whole butt plug thing. Reading about it is one thing, but we have never really experimented with anal play and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I have a feeling he's also thinking about it in a punishment frame of mind, so I think the whole goal is to ensure I'm not comfortable. Who knows with my husband. He could mention the idea once, never say another word about it, and it will show up in the mail two weeks later. We'll see what happens.
So what's new with all of you? :) Any changing fall colours where you are?
I also love the smells and tastes of fall. In the last three days, I've gotten a Starbucks each day. I'm a sucker for Starbucks. Now, Leo would ordinarly be a bit peeved, seeing how Starbucks is pretty expensive...but I've got him hooked too! Their Pumpkin Spice Latte is ridiculously good, and it's only out in the fall!! I also like the Bath & Body Works scents that come out around this time of year; there's a cinnamon-y pumpkin one I like, and they've got some great smelly candles that I can't wait to get my hands on. Oh, and those cute pumpkin soap holders...sigh. I think I'm getting a little carried away, but what can I say? I've got fall fever!
I got a little spanking yesterday, just to ensure that my butt matched the red leaves falling. It was just a random "maintenance" type spanking - not punishment. In a way, I really cherish those spankings. It shows that he's still interested in catering to my needs and wants, even when I'm not acting up. We never did try that Icy Hot thing, but I know it's still in the back of his mind somewhere. Occasionally, he'll make a vague reference to things like butt plugs or purchasing new implements, but I'm not sure if he's just teasing/threatening or being serious. While I'm a pretty sexual person, I am unsure how I feel about the whole butt plug thing. Reading about it is one thing, but we have never really experimented with anal play and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I have a feeling he's also thinking about it in a punishment frame of mind, so I think the whole goal is to ensure I'm not comfortable. Who knows with my husband. He could mention the idea once, never say another word about it, and it will show up in the mail two weeks later. We'll see what happens.
So what's new with all of you? :) Any changing fall colours where you are?
Thursday 15 September 2011
Male Dominance
So I know it's back to school time for a few folks out there, and I thought I'd do a little post reflecting some history/sociology regarding male dominance. When I was still in school, I took a sociology class, and one day we focused on this subject. I recall watching a film debating whether or not a patriarchal society is human nature. The main view that the video was trying to portray was that no, it is not human nature. It argued that male dominance is at the heart of the world's problems, and we must get rid of patriarchy and get rid of it fast. I mean, let's face it - for the most part, things like government are a very male institution. And even with progression, hierarchy and violence still rule the world.
Now comes the history. Ten thousand years ago, farming really had an impact on gender roles. In hunter gatherer societies, men were needed for hunting - but not much else. The women did all of the real work that kept the small societies functioning. The social fabric of the time would have collapsed without the input of the women. But, as the groups began moving into villages, the status of men dropped steeply. Their hunting roles weren't really needed anymore, and that caused resentment. The result? Raw material for a revolution. And that is exactly what happened. Women have always been neglected in history, and nearly all historical sources are written by men. In those days (and still in some places today), power was gained by terror. Laws destroyed women's freedom, and they were often secluded from men and forced to veil themselves. Essentially, women were private property.
Over the years, females in our Western culture have obviously gained much more status and recognition in society. A long time ago, mass communication obviously wasn't an option - there was no radio, newspaper, books, nothing. That led to a select group of people making all of the decisions. Nowadays, though, we do have those tools. The video argued that patriarchy no longer makes sense as an institution. Mass communication allows for democracy.
There are some who argue that male dominance is human nature, simply due to factors such as different hormones, or the fact that men are generally physically stronger. At the time that I took the class, I knew that DD and spanking were something that interested me, but I was still in that awkward phase where I felt guilty about it. I felt guilty because I felt that as a strong and independent woman, I didn't need a man to tell me what to do, or punish me when I didn't do it. I began to wonder if the video was right - is patriarchy all in our heads, and not in our genes? Was it simply the way society ended up due to various factors over time? I'm interested to know what everyone thinks. This is an unusual post, I know...but I thought it might be interesting to shake things up a little and see where people stand on this. Comment and let me know!
P.S. Blogger is being funny and is not allowing me to comment on anyone's blogs, not even my own! Not sure what's up with that. It says that my account does not have access to the page. Has anyone else ever had this problem???
Now comes the history. Ten thousand years ago, farming really had an impact on gender roles. In hunter gatherer societies, men were needed for hunting - but not much else. The women did all of the real work that kept the small societies functioning. The social fabric of the time would have collapsed without the input of the women. But, as the groups began moving into villages, the status of men dropped steeply. Their hunting roles weren't really needed anymore, and that caused resentment. The result? Raw material for a revolution. And that is exactly what happened. Women have always been neglected in history, and nearly all historical sources are written by men. In those days (and still in some places today), power was gained by terror. Laws destroyed women's freedom, and they were often secluded from men and forced to veil themselves. Essentially, women were private property.
Over the years, females in our Western culture have obviously gained much more status and recognition in society. A long time ago, mass communication obviously wasn't an option - there was no radio, newspaper, books, nothing. That led to a select group of people making all of the decisions. Nowadays, though, we do have those tools. The video argued that patriarchy no longer makes sense as an institution. Mass communication allows for democracy.
There are some who argue that male dominance is human nature, simply due to factors such as different hormones, or the fact that men are generally physically stronger. At the time that I took the class, I knew that DD and spanking were something that interested me, but I was still in that awkward phase where I felt guilty about it. I felt guilty because I felt that as a strong and independent woman, I didn't need a man to tell me what to do, or punish me when I didn't do it. I began to wonder if the video was right - is patriarchy all in our heads, and not in our genes? Was it simply the way society ended up due to various factors over time? I'm interested to know what everyone thinks. This is an unusual post, I know...but I thought it might be interesting to shake things up a little and see where people stand on this. Comment and let me know!
P.S. Blogger is being funny and is not allowing me to comment on anyone's blogs, not even my own! Not sure what's up with that. It says that my account does not have access to the page. Has anyone else ever had this problem???
Wednesday 7 September 2011
More Mishaps!
I got a punishment spanking. A real punishment spanking. Not for being late for my bedtime curfew (which Leo has started cracking down on again), or for being a little mouthy. Nope. Instead, I got it for denting the left fender of the car. I know I posted about having a similar incident earlier, but I did it again! I can't believe it. I am a good driver (really I am!) but I've just had a couple of careless moments, and this time, it didn't end well for me or my butt.
Leo went away last weekend, so I was home alone. I went to the mall with a friend on Saturday, and it was packed with back-to-school shoppers. So, there was only one parking spot near a pole, and even though it was a little tight I took it. When we returned, I had a car very close to me on the other side, and not a lot of distance to back out. I looked the wrong way for one second, and bam - hit the pole. I came home and frantically searched online to see where I could get the dent fixed, and for how much. Most autobody shops and dealerships would want thousands of dollars for the repair, but then I found this thing called paintless dent removal that costs way less and takes less time, and a place in our city that did it. I figured I would head over the next day and have the dent repaired, and Leo would never know. And then I saw that it wasn't open on Sundays...and the next day was Labour Day, so it wouldn't be open then either! Leo was coming home late Monday afternoon, and I knew I was screwed. I tried to come up with all sorts of excuses, such as that another car hit me or that a shingle from the roofing project next door fell on it (I was desperate, okay?!), but in the end I decided that honesty was the best policy. I planned to take the car for an estimate after work today, because I couldn't yesterday. I didn't tell him though. I waited for him to see it, and somehow, he didn't see it until this morning.
"Isla," he said, opening the front door. "Did you hit something with the car?"
Those words filled me with dread. I came in and spilled the story, and he was not happy. Like me, he anticipated that the repair would be thousands of dollars, and the dent decreases the car's value. Not to mention that this is my second mishap with the car recently. He didn't say anything this morning, but when I returned from work today, he was waiting. I got a very stern lecture on being more careful and responsible with the car (I felt like a 16 year old who had just learned to drive!), and he was not thrilled at the prospect of spending money on repairs just because I hadn't been more cautious. All of these made me feel incredibly guilty and frustrated at my carelessness, but all of what he said was very deserved. Then I was flipped over his knee, pants and panties down, and given a very fast and hard hand spanking. This had me crying pretty quickly. After that, he had me try something new - diaper position - and he got out that stupid wooden spoon and applied it right to my sit spots. It was horrible trying to hold my legs, and I got a bunch of extras for getting out of position. He also mentioned that he thinks it would be a good idea to get a paddle. Who is this man?! I mean, he's always been willing to have a DD marriage, but he never got so serious before! When the spanking was over, I was crying and apologetic, and then he told me I had better go get the estimate for the repair. Sitting on my sore bottom in the car all the way to the repair shop was not fun, nor was shifting back and forth uncomfortably as the technician took my information. It's going to end up costing us $395, which obviously isn't anything to be excited about, but it is less than we would pay at an autobody shop. Sigh. If only I could stop getting myself into trouble...
Everything else is going fine with us. Last week was pretty hot and humid, and these past couple of days have been the exact opposite - rainy, cloudy, and cold. It's definitely starting to feel like fall, and I noticed this morning when I woke up freezing and wore my coat around the house for a couple of hours! Not to worry, I guess - apparently Leo knows how to keep my bottom warm at least!
Leo went away last weekend, so I was home alone. I went to the mall with a friend on Saturday, and it was packed with back-to-school shoppers. So, there was only one parking spot near a pole, and even though it was a little tight I took it. When we returned, I had a car very close to me on the other side, and not a lot of distance to back out. I looked the wrong way for one second, and bam - hit the pole. I came home and frantically searched online to see where I could get the dent fixed, and for how much. Most autobody shops and dealerships would want thousands of dollars for the repair, but then I found this thing called paintless dent removal that costs way less and takes less time, and a place in our city that did it. I figured I would head over the next day and have the dent repaired, and Leo would never know. And then I saw that it wasn't open on Sundays...and the next day was Labour Day, so it wouldn't be open then either! Leo was coming home late Monday afternoon, and I knew I was screwed. I tried to come up with all sorts of excuses, such as that another car hit me or that a shingle from the roofing project next door fell on it (I was desperate, okay?!), but in the end I decided that honesty was the best policy. I planned to take the car for an estimate after work today, because I couldn't yesterday. I didn't tell him though. I waited for him to see it, and somehow, he didn't see it until this morning.
"Isla," he said, opening the front door. "Did you hit something with the car?"
Those words filled me with dread. I came in and spilled the story, and he was not happy. Like me, he anticipated that the repair would be thousands of dollars, and the dent decreases the car's value. Not to mention that this is my second mishap with the car recently. He didn't say anything this morning, but when I returned from work today, he was waiting. I got a very stern lecture on being more careful and responsible with the car (I felt like a 16 year old who had just learned to drive!), and he was not thrilled at the prospect of spending money on repairs just because I hadn't been more cautious. All of these made me feel incredibly guilty and frustrated at my carelessness, but all of what he said was very deserved. Then I was flipped over his knee, pants and panties down, and given a very fast and hard hand spanking. This had me crying pretty quickly. After that, he had me try something new - diaper position - and he got out that stupid wooden spoon and applied it right to my sit spots. It was horrible trying to hold my legs, and I got a bunch of extras for getting out of position. He also mentioned that he thinks it would be a good idea to get a paddle. Who is this man?! I mean, he's always been willing to have a DD marriage, but he never got so serious before! When the spanking was over, I was crying and apologetic, and then he told me I had better go get the estimate for the repair. Sitting on my sore bottom in the car all the way to the repair shop was not fun, nor was shifting back and forth uncomfortably as the technician took my information. It's going to end up costing us $395, which obviously isn't anything to be excited about, but it is less than we would pay at an autobody shop. Sigh. If only I could stop getting myself into trouble...
Everything else is going fine with us. Last week was pretty hot and humid, and these past couple of days have been the exact opposite - rainy, cloudy, and cold. It's definitely starting to feel like fall, and I noticed this morning when I woke up freezing and wore my coat around the house for a couple of hours! Not to worry, I guess - apparently Leo knows how to keep my bottom warm at least!
Wednesday 31 August 2011
I'm Alive, I Promise!
Now, considering my last post was thirteen days ago, and because I am so accident prone, everyone must think that I have fallen off the face of the Earth or something (and knowing me, I could probably manage that somehow...). But I promise I haven't! Instead, I dropped the laptop. The screen was horribly cracked and nothing would load! So, $350.00 and a week later, I have my laptop back again - fixed, with a new hard drive and everything. It was just a moment of clumsiness and carelessness. I was holding the laptop in one arm (bad idea) and looking for something and then CRASH. Sigh. Leave it to me to break and burn and lose everything in sight!
But now I am back, and all is well again! A week without my computer was easier than I expected, since I spend a lot of time online, but it's still nice to have it back. Missing PK's Fantasy Fridays was certainly sad! I always look forward to those. I guess I have some reading to catch up on! Also, I did finally receive a spanking. It was for a combination of things - dropping the computer, general rudeness, etc. - and I feel a lot more settled and focused now. It was about 300 swats, some with a wooden spoon, and I am not eager to have the experience repeated!! Even though neither of us were particularly unhappy with our lack of spanking, it did feel nice to get back into the swing of things again.
And, my burns are pretty much healed! I have a small mark above my lip that I think might scar, but it's nothing major or overly noticeable. My hand feels and looks way better, and I have been extra cautious in the kitchen. It's strange to think how quickly things in your life can change. That explosion could have burned me much worse, and I could have had horrible burns on my face and neck. I am grateful that that didn't happen.
Well, if I want to get caught up on my blog reading, I had better go! I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm alive (for now, because who knows what sort of trouble I'll be getting myself into this time!)
But now I am back, and all is well again! A week without my computer was easier than I expected, since I spend a lot of time online, but it's still nice to have it back. Missing PK's Fantasy Fridays was certainly sad! I always look forward to those. I guess I have some reading to catch up on! Also, I did finally receive a spanking. It was for a combination of things - dropping the computer, general rudeness, etc. - and I feel a lot more settled and focused now. It was about 300 swats, some with a wooden spoon, and I am not eager to have the experience repeated!! Even though neither of us were particularly unhappy with our lack of spanking, it did feel nice to get back into the swing of things again.
And, my burns are pretty much healed! I have a small mark above my lip that I think might scar, but it's nothing major or overly noticeable. My hand feels and looks way better, and I have been extra cautious in the kitchen. It's strange to think how quickly things in your life can change. That explosion could have burned me much worse, and I could have had horrible burns on my face and neck. I am grateful that that didn't happen.
Well, if I want to get caught up on my blog reading, I had better go! I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm alive (for now, because who knows what sort of trouble I'll be getting myself into this time!)
Thursday 18 August 2011
Summer Days Drifting Away
I think that the title says it all. It's not like I get the summer off from work, but there's just something about it that makes it different from the rest of the year. You have your vacation days; the weather is nice; and you're just generally more happy! But, now that it's mid-August, it is suddenly dawning on me that the summer is quickly drawing to a close. Sigh.
Typing this is slightly difficult, as I am accident prone. Earlier tonight, I had a couple of girlfriends over and we were baking. I was making a frosting that required me to use those saucepans where one goes on top of the other, and the bottom one has boiling water that cooks the stuff in the top one (if that makes any sense). So, of course, I picked two saucepans that weren't meant to do that. I did my thing, cooked the ingredients, and turned off the burner. When I tried to remove the top saucepan, it was a little bit stuck. I tugged, and it popped right off, making a very loud noise and spraying boiling water and sugar everywhere - all over the kitchen, and all over me. I screamed and there were these three horrifying seconds where I thought my face was ruined forever. Luckily, I only have slight burns on my face and neck/chest area, but my left hand is pretty burnt too. Nothing severe - I didn't have to go to the hospital or anything - but enough to scare the crap out of me. I gave my friends a good scare too! I've been using a soothing lidocaine spray, and I took some Advil. I guess I shouldn't quit my day job!
But, because I haven't really written a post in awhile, I figured I needed to get on here and do it anyway. Not that there's much to report, though. No spanking action. None. And strangely, I am okay with it. I don't really have an urge to be spanked lately. Perhaps it is some sort of strange PMS side effect, but he hasn't mentioned spanking or DD at all, and neither have I. We're not unhappy right now; things are going just fine. I am not sure when spanking will pick up again. I know it will at some point, but for now, we're both just not feeling it I guess. I suppose this is normal. I know I said that I would have a discussion with him, but I'm dragging my heels on that too. Must be something about summer. Perhaps when things become more routine again, I'll crave the spankings more. Who knows?
Hmmm...what else to report? Nothing really. I saw The Help last night - what a great film! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. I'm a big fan of meaningful, feel-good movies with a message. Normally, I read the book before I see the movie, but this time it's the other way around. Now I have to find some time to get started on the book!
Well, I suppose that's all in my oh-so-exciting life ;) What's happening in all of yours?
Typing this is slightly difficult, as I am accident prone. Earlier tonight, I had a couple of girlfriends over and we were baking. I was making a frosting that required me to use those saucepans where one goes on top of the other, and the bottom one has boiling water that cooks the stuff in the top one (if that makes any sense). So, of course, I picked two saucepans that weren't meant to do that. I did my thing, cooked the ingredients, and turned off the burner. When I tried to remove the top saucepan, it was a little bit stuck. I tugged, and it popped right off, making a very loud noise and spraying boiling water and sugar everywhere - all over the kitchen, and all over me. I screamed and there were these three horrifying seconds where I thought my face was ruined forever. Luckily, I only have slight burns on my face and neck/chest area, but my left hand is pretty burnt too. Nothing severe - I didn't have to go to the hospital or anything - but enough to scare the crap out of me. I gave my friends a good scare too! I've been using a soothing lidocaine spray, and I took some Advil. I guess I shouldn't quit my day job!
But, because I haven't really written a post in awhile, I figured I needed to get on here and do it anyway. Not that there's much to report, though. No spanking action. None. And strangely, I am okay with it. I don't really have an urge to be spanked lately. Perhaps it is some sort of strange PMS side effect, but he hasn't mentioned spanking or DD at all, and neither have I. We're not unhappy right now; things are going just fine. I am not sure when spanking will pick up again. I know it will at some point, but for now, we're both just not feeling it I guess. I suppose this is normal. I know I said that I would have a discussion with him, but I'm dragging my heels on that too. Must be something about summer. Perhaps when things become more routine again, I'll crave the spankings more. Who knows?
Hmmm...what else to report? Nothing really. I saw The Help last night - what a great film! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. I'm a big fan of meaningful, feel-good movies with a message. Normally, I read the book before I see the movie, but this time it's the other way around. Now I have to find some time to get started on the book!
Well, I suppose that's all in my oh-so-exciting life ;) What's happening in all of yours?
Thursday 11 August 2011
Crusin' for a Brusin'
Hey guys! So I know I tried my hand at writing a few months back, and I thought maybe I'd give it another go. If you have any feedback about this story, please comment! I'd love to hear it! :)
Ellie was a good driver. Really, she was. She had been driving for years. The driving instructor she'd had at age sixteen had told her that she was a natural. Or at least this was what she tried to convince herself as she sat in the driver's seat with the air bag exploded in her face and a searing pang of dread creeping up her spine.
It had been a rough day. Everything had gone wrong. It had started at the coffee shop when they had completely messed up her caramel spice latte. She had taken one sip and her tastebuds had immediately cried out in protest. But, because she was running late and had no time to order another drink, she tried to gag it down simply for the caffeine fix. Then, after being stopped by a train for a full twenty minutes, she flew into work in a panic. While running down the rows of office cubicles, she failed to look where she was going and the remaining half cup of coffee ended up splashing all over her boss' shirt when they collided. His angry glare denied any hope of the promotion that she had been praying for. She had offered to pay for the dry cleaning, but he had simply ushered her away with a wave of annoyance. The rest of the day had simply gone downhill. The copier had jammed, she got a call from the credit card company to inform her that her payment was late, her computer had shut off in the middle of typing an important and lengthy document, and she had accidentally forwarded the email about the bra sale to Mike in the Finance Department instead of her best friend Natalie.
So, by the time five o' clock rolled around, Ellie's bag was packed and thoughts of her evening floated in her mind. Maybe she'd buy a Cosmo magazine and a tub of chocolate ice cream to eat, and perhaps she'd rent a teary romantic chick flick to watch alone. All of these things had been her saving grace three months ago when her boyfriend of two years had broken up with her, and she felt pathetic at the prospect of doing it all again. She trudged out of the office building feeling dejected.
Maybe it was her eagerness to get home to her comfy bed and pyjamas, or maybe it was a rush of anger at how her day had unfolded. She pondered this and then realized that it didn't really matter - she had hit the other car regardless of the reason. She had paid no attention to the stop sign ahead and had blown right through it. She sat dumbfounded in the driver's seat, knowing that she should get out and talk to the person she had hit, but not having the strength or the energy to do it. Luckily, he came to her.
"Are you all right?!" a deep voice asked frantically.
Ellie looked up, and was astonished by the man who stood there. He was only a little older than her, with wavy chestnut hair and piercing frosted green eyes that were filled with concern. She felt ashamed that she had been the one to cause the accident, and yet he was the one who was so worried about her. She took a deep breath.
"I-I'm okay," she managed. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am," he told her, "but my car's not." His voice hardened suddenly. "What the hell were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? How could you have missed that stop sign?"
She opened the door and climbed slowly out of the car. One of her headlights was smashed, not to mention the completely dented state of her front bumper. She surveyed his car and noticed that the damage was equally bad. She cringed at the thought of her insurance rates soaring. "I've had a horrible day," she told him. "You're right...I just wasn't thinking. I feel absolutely terrible. Of course I'll pay for all of the damage, you don't need to worry about that--"
"That won't be necessary," he cut her off. "I don't want you to pay for anything. But I do want you to agree to something."
She bobbed her head up and down. "Anything, anything at all!"
"Go to dinner with me." She scanned his face for any indication that he was joking, but the firm line of his lips and his steady gaze suggested that he wasn't. "There's a great Italian place down the street. Since we don't have any cars--" She blushed like a tomato. "--we can walk."
"Of course I'll go with you," she breathed. "But are you sure you don't want me to cover the costs of the accident?"
"I've already explained this to you," he said. "You are going to dinner with me and that's the deal." Something in his voice made her realize how serious he was. She nodded in silence.
A police car pulled up just then, and an officer clambered out to speak with them. The man explained the details of the accident while Ellie held her head down in shame beside him.
"Well, sir, I'd suggest that you contact your insurance company and have this young lady do the same immediately and begin to arrange for the costs of the damage to be covered," the officer said.
"Oh, that's quite all right," the man responded easily. "We have already worked out a deal between us. But thank you."
The officer raised an eyebrow. "You don't want her to pay for the damage that she caused?" he said quizzically, jerking a thumb in Ellie's direction. "By the sounds of it, this accident was her fault. Don't you want to hold her accountable?"
"Thank you, Officer," the man said again, "but that won't be necessary."
The officer appeared confused, but shook his head in disbelief and walked away. By the time the tow trucks had arrived and everything had been settled, nearly two hours had passed. Ellie and the man walked down to the restaurant and were seated in a booth near the window.
"I'm Victor, by the way," he told her as they studied their menus. She looked up from reading the description of a scallop pasta dish and smiled.
"I'm Ellie. Nice to meet you," she said, and she meant it. "Although I apologize again for the way that we met."
"Oh, don't worry about that," he said casually. "That will all be taken care of later."
A flurry of anxiety fluttered in her stomach. "But I thought...? You said...? You said this was the deal!" Ellie cried.
He looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. "You'll see what I mean. Let's leave it at that."
So she did. She was reluctant, but she managed to avoid the topic. They had a lovely dinner, complete with a bottle of wine and great conversation. She found out that he was studying to become a doctor, and that he was single and newly moved to their town. They talked for hours, and by the end of the meal she felt as if she had known him forever. Despite the fact that she had caused the accident earlier, he insisted on paying the bill. The sky was dark and sprinkled with stars by the time they emerged, and her spirits had lifted greatly. This beat Cosmo and chick flicks one hundred percent.
"My apartment isn't far from here," Victor suggested. "We could walk there if you like." She normally would have felt apprehensive about going to someone's apartment who she had just met. But with this man, something was different. She found herself agreeing instantly. The night air was crisp and cool and it took them only fifteen minutes to make their way to his apartment building. After a short elevator ride, they were there.
It was small, but cozy. He was obviously a world traveller, as everything seemed to be adorned with souvenirs from other countries. The clock in his kitchen was from Holland; the calendar on his wall from China; the woven rug in his living room from Kenya. The air smelled slightly of minty cologne and she felt strangely at home. He went over and sat on the couch and beckoned for her to join him.
"Earlier today, you could have killed both of us with your carelessness," he began slowly. "And after talking to you for the past few hours, I think you're a great girl, Ellie." He smiled. "So I don't think that careless accidents are a regular thing for you, and I hope that they're not. But I also think that these things can't go without consequence." A look of complete confusion had taken over her face. He didn't explain any further. Instead, he wrapped his strong hands around her waist and flipped her across his lap. And then, much to her horror, he began to spank her.
"Wait! What are you doing?!" she cried out, kicking her legs and squirming desperately. She had expected some more great conversation, or perhaps some kissing or something - not a spanking. "Stop!"
"Why should I stop, Ellie? Apparently you don't know how to. That's how you got us in that accident today," he told her, delivering several sharp smacks to her bottom. "You need to be taught a lesson, young lady. And I intend to teach it to you!"
She shrieked and attempted to cover her stinging bottom with her hands, but to no avail. He simply pinned her arms behind her back and continued to spank. "The more you struggle, the harder it's going to be," he warned her. "This can be easy or it can be hard. It's up to you."
SMACK! SMACK! "Now, you MUST" SMACK! SMACK! "Be more careful" SMACK! "When you are driving!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "If you don't" SMACK! "You may find yourself" SMACK! SMACK! "In this position" SMACK! SMACK! "Again!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Who says I'll let you put me in this position again?" she demanded, suddenly feisty and filled with rage at his presumptuousness.
"We may not know each other all that well yet," he began, "but I think I know you well enough now to say that you'll be back. Because this is what you need in your life, Ellie - some discipline." He yanked down her skirt and her sheer pink panties to reveal a rapidly reddening bottom. She squealed in protest. "And it appears as though you are getting some." He released a rain of fiery spanks on her bare cheeks.
"Ow! Ouch!" she shrieked, tears streaming down her cheeks. She clenched her bottom together, attempting to lessen the pain.
"Clenching your bottom is not acceptable," Victor told her matter-of-factly. "I suggest you stop right now." He continued spanking, one cheek after the other, showing no signs of relenting.
She couldn't help it. The pain was too much. Although she tried to stop squirming and clenching, it was too hard. She found her cheeks pressed tightly together again soon enough. Victor stopped spanking.
"Go into the kitchen, young lady, and find the wooden spoon on the counter. Clearly, this punishment is not sufficient enough," he commanded, pointing to the kitchen.
"No! Oh, please no!" she pleaded with him. His hand hurt too much already.
"If you would prefer, I have a ginger root in the fridge," he said coldly. "I can peel it and insert it into your bottom to stop the clenching, if you would rather." At that, she flew to the kitchen to retrieve the spoon. Her panties were around her ankles, and she waddled as quickly as she could back to Victor. His expression was approving.
"Good," he said, standing up. "Now, bend over the arm of the couch please. I want your bottom arched in the air as high as you can. On your toes, with your legs spread. If you don't keep your back arched, I will give you extra swats. A car accident is not something to be taken lightly."
She knew that she could get up and leave at any time - how could he stop her? But, for some reason, she didn't consider it. She knew she had earned this punishment, and she knew that if she ever wanted to see Victor again, she would have to accept it. After a deep inhalation, she positioned herself as per his instructions.
"Good girl," he praised her, assuming his own position to punish her poor bottom. He tapped the spoon against his hand. "These are going to be hard, and they're going to hurt. But I expect you to take all of them, and I won't tolerate any disobedience. Understood?"
She nodded. "Yes," she said tearfully. A sharp swat was promptly delivered to her left butt cheek.
"That is yes SIR to you!" he instructed.
"Yes, sir!" she cried out obediently. He peppered her bottom with more sharp spanks. The spoon stung and her bottom was on fire.
"Keep arching!" he told her. "That butt is not arched enough!" She struggled to push her bottom higher as he delivered more spanks. "On your TOES, Ellie! Legs spread! If you can't hold that position, I'll put you in diaper position and give you the belt!" This persuaded her. She wondered if he was serious and decided not to test it. She miraculously maintained her position for the rest of the spanking, until she was limp and sobbing over the arm of the couch. She heard him set down the spoon and come around to her. He planted a gentle kiss on top of her head and rubbed her back slowly. "I know that that was hard," he told her. "But I'm very proud that you took it as well as you did. I'm guessing you've never been spanked before, and I think that that sent across a very clear message." She nodded, unable to speak because of the sobs choking her throat. He pulled her into his lap, and she shuddered at the brush of her sore, hot bottom against his jeans. She cradled her head into his neck and felt strangely content.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I know it hasn't been much time," he said, "but Ellie, there's just something about you. I feel something for you. I want to know if you'll think about being my girl."
"I don't have to think about it," she answered him quickly. "I will."
He beamed from head to toe. "Do you understand that I will spank you for your infractions?" he asked her. "Because that will be a big part of our relationship, Ellie, and I want to make sure that you understand."
She looked at him with her big brown eyes and managed to smile. "I understand," she said sincerely. "I trust that you'll do what's best for me."
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, placing her carefully on his neatly made bed and planting a kiss on her lips. "Oh, I promise I will," he said to her softly, rolling on top of her and proceeding to have the best lovemaking experience either of them had ever had.
Ellie was a good driver. Really, she was. She had been driving for years. The driving instructor she'd had at age sixteen had told her that she was a natural. Or at least this was what she tried to convince herself as she sat in the driver's seat with the air bag exploded in her face and a searing pang of dread creeping up her spine.
It had been a rough day. Everything had gone wrong. It had started at the coffee shop when they had completely messed up her caramel spice latte. She had taken one sip and her tastebuds had immediately cried out in protest. But, because she was running late and had no time to order another drink, she tried to gag it down simply for the caffeine fix. Then, after being stopped by a train for a full twenty minutes, she flew into work in a panic. While running down the rows of office cubicles, she failed to look where she was going and the remaining half cup of coffee ended up splashing all over her boss' shirt when they collided. His angry glare denied any hope of the promotion that she had been praying for. She had offered to pay for the dry cleaning, but he had simply ushered her away with a wave of annoyance. The rest of the day had simply gone downhill. The copier had jammed, she got a call from the credit card company to inform her that her payment was late, her computer had shut off in the middle of typing an important and lengthy document, and she had accidentally forwarded the email about the bra sale to Mike in the Finance Department instead of her best friend Natalie.
So, by the time five o' clock rolled around, Ellie's bag was packed and thoughts of her evening floated in her mind. Maybe she'd buy a Cosmo magazine and a tub of chocolate ice cream to eat, and perhaps she'd rent a teary romantic chick flick to watch alone. All of these things had been her saving grace three months ago when her boyfriend of two years had broken up with her, and she felt pathetic at the prospect of doing it all again. She trudged out of the office building feeling dejected.
Maybe it was her eagerness to get home to her comfy bed and pyjamas, or maybe it was a rush of anger at how her day had unfolded. She pondered this and then realized that it didn't really matter - she had hit the other car regardless of the reason. She had paid no attention to the stop sign ahead and had blown right through it. She sat dumbfounded in the driver's seat, knowing that she should get out and talk to the person she had hit, but not having the strength or the energy to do it. Luckily, he came to her.
"Are you all right?!" a deep voice asked frantically.
Ellie looked up, and was astonished by the man who stood there. He was only a little older than her, with wavy chestnut hair and piercing frosted green eyes that were filled with concern. She felt ashamed that she had been the one to cause the accident, and yet he was the one who was so worried about her. She took a deep breath.
"I-I'm okay," she managed. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am," he told her, "but my car's not." His voice hardened suddenly. "What the hell were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? How could you have missed that stop sign?"
She opened the door and climbed slowly out of the car. One of her headlights was smashed, not to mention the completely dented state of her front bumper. She surveyed his car and noticed that the damage was equally bad. She cringed at the thought of her insurance rates soaring. "I've had a horrible day," she told him. "You're right...I just wasn't thinking. I feel absolutely terrible. Of course I'll pay for all of the damage, you don't need to worry about that--"
"That won't be necessary," he cut her off. "I don't want you to pay for anything. But I do want you to agree to something."
She bobbed her head up and down. "Anything, anything at all!"
"Go to dinner with me." She scanned his face for any indication that he was joking, but the firm line of his lips and his steady gaze suggested that he wasn't. "There's a great Italian place down the street. Since we don't have any cars--" She blushed like a tomato. "--we can walk."
"Of course I'll go with you," she breathed. "But are you sure you don't want me to cover the costs of the accident?"
"I've already explained this to you," he said. "You are going to dinner with me and that's the deal." Something in his voice made her realize how serious he was. She nodded in silence.
A police car pulled up just then, and an officer clambered out to speak with them. The man explained the details of the accident while Ellie held her head down in shame beside him.
"Well, sir, I'd suggest that you contact your insurance company and have this young lady do the same immediately and begin to arrange for the costs of the damage to be covered," the officer said.
"Oh, that's quite all right," the man responded easily. "We have already worked out a deal between us. But thank you."
The officer raised an eyebrow. "You don't want her to pay for the damage that she caused?" he said quizzically, jerking a thumb in Ellie's direction. "By the sounds of it, this accident was her fault. Don't you want to hold her accountable?"
"Thank you, Officer," the man said again, "but that won't be necessary."
The officer appeared confused, but shook his head in disbelief and walked away. By the time the tow trucks had arrived and everything had been settled, nearly two hours had passed. Ellie and the man walked down to the restaurant and were seated in a booth near the window.
"I'm Victor, by the way," he told her as they studied their menus. She looked up from reading the description of a scallop pasta dish and smiled.
"I'm Ellie. Nice to meet you," she said, and she meant it. "Although I apologize again for the way that we met."
"Oh, don't worry about that," he said casually. "That will all be taken care of later."
A flurry of anxiety fluttered in her stomach. "But I thought...? You said...? You said this was the deal!" Ellie cried.
He looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. "You'll see what I mean. Let's leave it at that."
So she did. She was reluctant, but she managed to avoid the topic. They had a lovely dinner, complete with a bottle of wine and great conversation. She found out that he was studying to become a doctor, and that he was single and newly moved to their town. They talked for hours, and by the end of the meal she felt as if she had known him forever. Despite the fact that she had caused the accident earlier, he insisted on paying the bill. The sky was dark and sprinkled with stars by the time they emerged, and her spirits had lifted greatly. This beat Cosmo and chick flicks one hundred percent.
"My apartment isn't far from here," Victor suggested. "We could walk there if you like." She normally would have felt apprehensive about going to someone's apartment who she had just met. But with this man, something was different. She found herself agreeing instantly. The night air was crisp and cool and it took them only fifteen minutes to make their way to his apartment building. After a short elevator ride, they were there.
It was small, but cozy. He was obviously a world traveller, as everything seemed to be adorned with souvenirs from other countries. The clock in his kitchen was from Holland; the calendar on his wall from China; the woven rug in his living room from Kenya. The air smelled slightly of minty cologne and she felt strangely at home. He went over and sat on the couch and beckoned for her to join him.
"Earlier today, you could have killed both of us with your carelessness," he began slowly. "And after talking to you for the past few hours, I think you're a great girl, Ellie." He smiled. "So I don't think that careless accidents are a regular thing for you, and I hope that they're not. But I also think that these things can't go without consequence." A look of complete confusion had taken over her face. He didn't explain any further. Instead, he wrapped his strong hands around her waist and flipped her across his lap. And then, much to her horror, he began to spank her.
"Wait! What are you doing?!" she cried out, kicking her legs and squirming desperately. She had expected some more great conversation, or perhaps some kissing or something - not a spanking. "Stop!"
"Why should I stop, Ellie? Apparently you don't know how to. That's how you got us in that accident today," he told her, delivering several sharp smacks to her bottom. "You need to be taught a lesson, young lady. And I intend to teach it to you!"
She shrieked and attempted to cover her stinging bottom with her hands, but to no avail. He simply pinned her arms behind her back and continued to spank. "The more you struggle, the harder it's going to be," he warned her. "This can be easy or it can be hard. It's up to you."
SMACK! SMACK! "Now, you MUST" SMACK! SMACK! "Be more careful" SMACK! "When you are driving!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "If you don't" SMACK! "You may find yourself" SMACK! SMACK! "In this position" SMACK! SMACK! "Again!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Who says I'll let you put me in this position again?" she demanded, suddenly feisty and filled with rage at his presumptuousness.
"We may not know each other all that well yet," he began, "but I think I know you well enough now to say that you'll be back. Because this is what you need in your life, Ellie - some discipline." He yanked down her skirt and her sheer pink panties to reveal a rapidly reddening bottom. She squealed in protest. "And it appears as though you are getting some." He released a rain of fiery spanks on her bare cheeks.
"Ow! Ouch!" she shrieked, tears streaming down her cheeks. She clenched her bottom together, attempting to lessen the pain.
"Clenching your bottom is not acceptable," Victor told her matter-of-factly. "I suggest you stop right now." He continued spanking, one cheek after the other, showing no signs of relenting.
She couldn't help it. The pain was too much. Although she tried to stop squirming and clenching, it was too hard. She found her cheeks pressed tightly together again soon enough. Victor stopped spanking.
"Go into the kitchen, young lady, and find the wooden spoon on the counter. Clearly, this punishment is not sufficient enough," he commanded, pointing to the kitchen.
"No! Oh, please no!" she pleaded with him. His hand hurt too much already.
"If you would prefer, I have a ginger root in the fridge," he said coldly. "I can peel it and insert it into your bottom to stop the clenching, if you would rather." At that, she flew to the kitchen to retrieve the spoon. Her panties were around her ankles, and she waddled as quickly as she could back to Victor. His expression was approving.
"Good," he said, standing up. "Now, bend over the arm of the couch please. I want your bottom arched in the air as high as you can. On your toes, with your legs spread. If you don't keep your back arched, I will give you extra swats. A car accident is not something to be taken lightly."
She knew that she could get up and leave at any time - how could he stop her? But, for some reason, she didn't consider it. She knew she had earned this punishment, and she knew that if she ever wanted to see Victor again, she would have to accept it. After a deep inhalation, she positioned herself as per his instructions.
"Good girl," he praised her, assuming his own position to punish her poor bottom. He tapped the spoon against his hand. "These are going to be hard, and they're going to hurt. But I expect you to take all of them, and I won't tolerate any disobedience. Understood?"
She nodded. "Yes," she said tearfully. A sharp swat was promptly delivered to her left butt cheek.
"That is yes SIR to you!" he instructed.
"Yes, sir!" she cried out obediently. He peppered her bottom with more sharp spanks. The spoon stung and her bottom was on fire.
"Keep arching!" he told her. "That butt is not arched enough!" She struggled to push her bottom higher as he delivered more spanks. "On your TOES, Ellie! Legs spread! If you can't hold that position, I'll put you in diaper position and give you the belt!" This persuaded her. She wondered if he was serious and decided not to test it. She miraculously maintained her position for the rest of the spanking, until she was limp and sobbing over the arm of the couch. She heard him set down the spoon and come around to her. He planted a gentle kiss on top of her head and rubbed her back slowly. "I know that that was hard," he told her. "But I'm very proud that you took it as well as you did. I'm guessing you've never been spanked before, and I think that that sent across a very clear message." She nodded, unable to speak because of the sobs choking her throat. He pulled her into his lap, and she shuddered at the brush of her sore, hot bottom against his jeans. She cradled her head into his neck and felt strangely content.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"I know it hasn't been much time," he said, "but Ellie, there's just something about you. I feel something for you. I want to know if you'll think about being my girl."
"I don't have to think about it," she answered him quickly. "I will."
He beamed from head to toe. "Do you understand that I will spank you for your infractions?" he asked her. "Because that will be a big part of our relationship, Ellie, and I want to make sure that you understand."
She looked at him with her big brown eyes and managed to smile. "I understand," she said sincerely. "I trust that you'll do what's best for me."
He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, placing her carefully on his neatly made bed and planting a kiss on her lips. "Oh, I promise I will," he said to her softly, rolling on top of her and proceeding to have the best lovemaking experience either of them had ever had.
* * *
Twenty years later, on their anniversary, they recounted the events that had led to their meeting. It was a Sunday morning, the kids were out, and they were cosily cuddling in bed. Over the years, Ellie had been spanked countless times. It hadn't always been easy, but it had done wonders for their relationship. They reflected on this too.
"I guess I've always been a bit of a troublemaker," she remarked, somewhat sheepishly.
"Yes, you have," he agreed, giving her bottom a firm smack under the covers. "But I guess if you weren't one, then I would never have met you at all!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)