Spanking - When To Draw the Line?

Because DD is so new for us, Leo and I are trying to establish what we feel are punishable offences. So far, I have been punished for smaller misdemeanors, including staying up too late (which I have already posted about), being disrespectful to him, and disobeying him when he asks me to do something. This seems to work just fine for us. However, I know that there are people in DD relationships who spank and punish for very serious offences, such as drinking and driving. Where does one draw the line?

This is a difficult question to answer, in my opinion. Someone might think that of course an offence that is as dangerous and as serious as drinking and driving is worthy of a hard spanking. But, on the other hand, someone else might argue that drinking and driving is too serious for a spanking. I have heard, as I am sure many others have, that women are spanked when they behave immaturely. Consequently, immature behaviour warrants a childish punishment - a spanking. However, should drinking and driving, or speeding, or drastically endangering oneself or another person be something to be punished childishly? These are most certainly not childish offences. Personally, I'm almost leaning to the side where I think that these issues need to be dealt with in an adult manner, and spanking doesn't seem to qualify as an appropriate respose to these situations. Endangering a life, whether it's your own or someone else's, is not the same as neglecting the laundry or talking back.

Then again, if I were to come home with a large fine from a speeding ticket and be severely paddled to the point where I could not sit down for days, I would most likely refrain from speeding in the future. That is the whole point of spanking, to acknowledge bad behaviour and prevent it from occurring again. It forces the spankee to reflect on their actions, and to reflect on why they are being spanked. I don't think that a spanking should be the only part of the punishment, though. As I just stated, the spankee needs to reflect. When your bottom is being spanked, it can be pretty hard to think clearly and focus on why you're getting the punishment for the first little while. I think that corner time and a lot of scolding and lecturing is also required. The spankee should want to not repeat the action in the future because they know it is wrong, not simply because they don't want a spanking.  Leo and I have not been placed in this position yet, so I can't speak from experience. This just seems logical to me.

I'm curious to know how others feel about this matter. I'm aware that all couples practise DD in a way that works for them. While some couples may spank for severe offences, others may not. What works for one couple may not work for another, and I completely comprehend this. I'm just interested to see what other people think about this subject, and whether or not they've ever been in a situation where this has been an issue. So far, I haven't committed any severe offences that would cause Leo to have to make a decision like this. I think I'll do my best to stay out of trouble so that he doesn't have to!

On a side note, I did receive the spanking I had been promised. I actually got it on Thursday night, but I didn't get a chance to post. I got 50 of my 250 swats with a small metal garden spade, like this:


It was a strange implement, but it definitely made an impression! The other 200 hand swats were hard, and they hurt. He lectured me the whole time, and I felt relieved by the time he stopped. I feel almost as though when he decides a certain number of swats, and tells me, it's not beneficial for me. If he tells me I'm getting 250 swats, I just count them and wait for it to be over. If he gave me a spanking where I didn't know when it would end, I would have the opportunity to focus on the issue at hand rather than the number of swats I have left. Hmm. Perhaps something for Leo and I to discuss!

May? More Like March!

I am getting so impatient.

Like, so impatient.

I want summer! And I want it now!

It's been so dreary here lately. As soon as I think the skies are clearing up and the weather's getting warmer, it starts to rain and I have to put away the shorts again. It's been a really long winter, and I'm just not a winter person (a little ironic, considering my name). Sounds crazy, doesn't it - the Canadian who doesn't like winter? Well, I would just like to clear some things out of the way now: Canadians do not live in igloos, nor do we drive dog sleds to work, nor do we have polar bears for pets. I know that it seems completely ridiculous for anyone to think any of those things, but you'd be surprised! (And if anyone did assume that those were true, I'm glad that I could set the record straight)

As I type this, it's raining outside. It was a bit of a stressful day; Leo and I are having the kitchen renovated and we've had electricians and plumbers coming in and out, and our electricity was shut off for awhile. This laptop has been pretty good about using battery power, thank goodness. It will all be done soon - the renovations aren't too major - but I'll be glad when it is!

I still haven't received the spanking I was promised. In fact, after I posted yesterday, I pushed my limits even more (I know, I know, I need to stop doing that!). I refused to get off of the computer when Leo asked me to, and when I was supposed to be going to sleep, I started playing a game on my Blackberry. He added 50 spanks for a grand total of 250. I have a feeling that I'll probably get spanked tomorrow night, or Friday. I have an exercise class tonight, and Leo's out with some friends. My butt will be a little sore for awhile, but I'm so glad that he's getting involved in this whole DD process and making an honest effort. Love you baby!

My Attempt at a Spanking Story

My parents own a cottage a few hours away from our home, and we spent the May 24 long weekend up there. It was a great trip, and despite some rain we still managed to have a good time. We fished, and lit fireworks, and went in the boat, and swam in the pool, and basically just kicked back and forgot about our responsibilities for a few days. However, there was one point when I thought Leo wouldn't be shirking his responsibilities; responsibilities of another sort. We were driving up a quiet side road when I got a little frustrated and told him to shut up. I was lucky, because all I got was a stern look and a mention of being bent over the hood on the side of the road next time! I'm glad that that didn't happen for a number of reasons. One is that being spanked on my bare bottom outdoors at the side of a road would make me very uncomfortable - what if someone were to come along? Even though it wasn't a busy road, and most likely no one would have driven by, I would have been very anxious the entire time. And it's also blackfly season, so being bare bottomed by the forest might have resulted in some bites!

However, Leo's threat was enough to get the wheels in my mind turning. I've been wanting to try writing a spanking story, but I couldn't come up with a scenario. This one seems perfect! Plus, with summer getting close, I thought an outdoors scene might be appropriate. So, here goes nothing!

Mandy sighed as she watched the green foliage whip by in a blur outside the car window. It was a beautiful summer day. The sky was blue, with only a faint wisp of cloud, and the air was hot and breezy. She had woken up with the intention of doing absolutely nothing; perhaps dipping her toes in the lake, or lounging on the wooden dock while trying to tan her legs. However, as she buttered her toast and contemplated which swimsuit to wear, her long-time boyfriend Pete came sauntering into the kitchen holding a fishing pole.

"What are you doing with that?" she inquired, turning to face him.

"What would one normally do with a fishing pole?" he responded, his eyes crinkling into a smile. "I thought we could go fishing! There's a lake about half an hour from here that supposedly has excellent fishing, and it would be a nice way to spend the afternoon."

"A nice way to spend the afternoon?!" she spat out. "Pete, I don't feel like it! I just want to relax here today. Lay in the sun, maybe, and go for a swim."

"Mandy, yesterday you decided that we would go to town, and we did. The day before that, you wanted to go on a boat ride, and we did that. I think it's fair for us to do something that I want to do today," Pete told her firmly. "Now, why don't you go start packing? We'll need some bug spray, sun screen, some snacks--"

"No," Mandy cut him off abruptly. "Fishing is the most boring thing in the world. I'm not going, Pete. And that's final!"

Pete's expression changed quickly. "Young lady," he warned. "You had better get rid of that attitude and quit talking back to me. We're going fishing today, that's what's final. And unless you want your bottom bared and spanked right now, then I suggest you start packing a backpack and behaving." He ignored the pouty part of her lips, and exited the room.

Mandy didn't want to go on a hike, but she didn't want a spanking either. Frustrated, she threw open the fridge door and yanked out a can of tuna fish, which she knew wasn't Pete's favourite. She made two sandwiches, and packed plastic containers of cherries and stalks of celery - two other snacks that she knew Pete wouldn't be thrilled with. She gathered a can of bug spray and a bottle of sun screen, as well as a water bottle and a pair of sunglasses. Pete returned to the cottage's kitchen half an hour later, and was pleased that she had chosen to listen to him.

"Good girl," he praised her, pecking her on the cheek. She didn't say anything. Instead, she laced up her running shoes and waited miserably as he circled the cottage whistling, collecting car keys and making sure they had everything they needed. As she walked out the door, she kissed the distant memories of her swimsuit and the sunny dock goodbye.

Now, here she was, in the passenger seat of the car, on the way to a lake in the middle of God-knows-where. She cringed at the thought of the mosquitoes that would be flitting around the shoreline, and the cold lake that was substituting for the hot sandy beach back at the cottage. She closed her eyes, trying to lull herself to sleep so that she could forget the impending fishing trip and the boring drive.

"Where are we?" Pete blurted out suddenly. "I thought we would have been there by now! We must have gone the wrong way. Mandy, get out the map." Grumbling, she rustled through the glove compartment and retrieved the map. "Now check and see where we are. We were supposed to turn back there, and I thought we were supposed to turn right...but now that I think of it, maybe it was left."

Mandy liked to consider herself directionally challenged, and the map looked like a series of jagged lines and meaningless squiggles. "I don't know," she told him, half-heartedly trying to comprehend what she was looking at. "But just a thought - it's always nice to know where you're going before you leave." Her sarcastic tone did not go unnoticed.

"Mandy. We're already lost, and I'm already frustrated. Get rid of the attitude." He gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Take a look at the map and tell me where we went wrong!"

"We? I'm not the one driving here," she replied, clearly ignoring Pete's warning. "And I can't read this thing! I don't understand it!"

"It's not that difficult," he told her matter-of-factly. "Of all things, a lake would be the easiest to find."

"Well then, you read the damn thing!" she retorted, throwing the crinkled map in his direction. She immediately realized that it had been a bad move. Pete quickly swerved the car to the side of the road and turned off the ignition.

"Out of the car," he said icily. "Now."

A knot of fear entangled itself in the pit of Mandy's stomach. "Oh, please no, Pete! I didn't mean to...I really didn't..."

He disregarded her pleading. "You meant to, Mandy Lee," he said. "I know you did. Now get out of the car."

Reluctantly, she unclicked her seatbelt and climbed slowly out of the car. The road was deserted; a lonely side road that she was sure no one ever really used. She trembled a little as Pete's strong hand curled around her forearm, dragging her to the hood of the car.

"Unzip your shorts," he commanded. "I want your bare butt over the hood of this car."

"Pete!" she protested, frantically surveying the area. "What if someone comes? Please don't do this to me!"

"No one is going to come," he told her, "and even if they do, all they're going to see is a naughty girl getting what she deserves. If you don't have those shorts down in ten seconds, I'm doubling your spanking." The last comment prompted her to quickly remove the shorts, and she reluctantly bent over the hood of the car. The breeze tickled her bare cheeks, and she shivered in unwanted anticipation. "Arch that back," he said. "I want that butt up nice and high so I can spank it properly." She pushed her bottom up toward him so that her pale cheeks were at his disposal. As hard as she tried, she wasn't prepared for the first swat that came crashing down. SMACK!

"Ouch!" she cried, wildly trying to protect her bottom with her hand.

"Oh no you don't!" he said, grabbing her wrist and pinning her arm behind her back. "Try that again, young lady, and you'll be getting extras." His hand rained down in another flurry of hard spanks. "You will NOT..." SMACK! "Ever..." SMACK! "Throw something..." SMACK! "At me..." SMACK! "While I am driving..." SMACK! SMACK! "Or ever, for that matter..." SMACK! "Again!" SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! "You can also..." SMACK! "Lose the attitude..." SMACK! "Unless..." SMACK! "You want to find..." SMACK! "Yourself in this position..." SMACK! SMACK! "Again!" His hand continued to punish her creamy cheeks until they began to blush a rosy red. "Keep that back arched and that butt in the air, Mandy Lee!" he instructed. "And don't clench those cheeks!" Against the hot metal of the car, with her bottom on fire in the open air, Mandy felt embarrassed and uncomfortable beyond belief. A tear trickled down her cheek as she realized what a brat she had been in the car. A fresh wave of panic washed over her as she heard the leather of his belt slithering from his belt loops.

"No!" she shrieked, hopping from one foot to another desperately. "Don't belt me! Please, baby, don't belt me!"

"You should have thought about not wanting a belting before you acted so immaturely in the car," he said coolly, looping the leather in his hand. "Get back over that hood and into position." Knowing she had no other choice, she bent back over the hood and felt the first stingy swat of the leather. Her bottom screamed in protest as it made contact repeatedly. As hard as she tried, she kept trying to avoid the swats, which earned her five extras.  After about forty painful swats, he stopped. "I want you to count the last ten," he told her. "You will say, 'One, thank you sir. I will not be a brat'. And you will continue to count until ten. If you miss a number, or forget what number it is, we will begin again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir," she answered, tears sliding down her cheeks. She felt another blow from the belt. "One, thank you sir! I will not be a brat!" Another swat came all too quickly. "TWO! Thank you SIR! I will not be a braaaaat!" He continued whipping her with the belt, all the way until ten, when she was sobbing mercilessly. Her bare bottom was crimson and marked with the belt's kiss, and he gave her a moment to compose herself before kissing the top of her head and speaking again.

"Please give me your shorts and panties," he said. "I want you to sit on that bare bottom in the car and as you try to read the map again, think of this spanking."

"Yes sir," she said, handing him the shorts and striped panties. She quickly scampered back to the car and planted herself in her seat, wincing as her punished flesh made contact with the leather. Pete clambered back into the driver's seat, and she managed to find the route on the map. They continued onward to the lake in a very pleasant manner, and although her bottom ached from the spanking, she was glad that he had corrected her nasty attitude.

Upon arrival, Pete unstrapped the canoe from the top of the car and slid it into the water. He handed her back her shorts and panties, which she put on gratefully. She grabbed the fishing poles and tackle box, and they climbed in together. They both paddled to the middle of the lake, and she asked him to bait her hook for her. The wriggling worms from the white Styrofoam container repulsed her, and she wasn't eager to touch one. Pete happily obliged, and she smeared sunscreen onto her shoulders as he did it. He plopped the line into the water without casting it and handed the pole to her.

"Well, that wasn't a very good cast," she pointed out, peering into the murky lake.

"So reel it in and cast it yourself," he told her, a gleam glinting in his eye. She slowly reeled in the line, expecting to see the pink worm writhing on the end. Instead, she saw something entirely different - a gold band, with a princess cut diamond sparkling in the sun, tied with fishing line. Her jaw dropped.

"Pete!" she gasped, her amber eyes widening. She turned to face him, in absolute awe.

"Mandy, since the day that I've met you, you've changed my life," he began. "There's something about you that sets you apart from everyone else. You're kind, and loveable, and generous, and you've turned my world upside down. I don't know where I would be without you, and I hope I never have to find out. I love you with all of my heart, and I would be honoured if you would be my wife." His face lit up eagerly as he awaited her reply.

"Yes!" she cried out joyfully. "Oh, yes, of course I'll marry you!" She would have leapt at him had it not been for the unstable canoe, so instead she leaned toward him and gave him a tender kiss. He wrapped his arms around her and they stayed that way for a blissful moment.

"Now, you know there's one condition," he said finally. "I'm going to be the HOH in our relationship. You're going to have to accept spankings when you need to be punished, just like this afternoon." She blushed sheepishly, thinking of her childish protests against coming with him and her fit in the car. "And you know that I'm going to be the one to decide when you get spanked. Can you live with that?"

She took a deep breath, and tried to picture her life without DD - or Pete - in it. She couldn't. Her bottom was still hot and sore, but her love for this man burned much stronger. "Yes, I can," she answered him honestly. "I love you, Pete. And I will trust you to do what's best for me."

"I will, baby girl," he whispered, sliding the ring onto her finger. "That spanking was only one of many to come."


So, there was my first attempt at a spanking story! Feel free to let me know what you think. Any feedback would be appreciated! As for me, I messed up again...I didn't get to bed on time last night, and I got a bit mouthy today. Looks like Mandy isn't the only one getting a spanking! Leo has informed me that I'll be getting 200 spanks, perhaps with an implement (yikes!). I'll keep you posted!

The Battle With Sleep

I realize that this makes me sound like an insomniac, but I assure you I'm definitely not. I love my sleep. Once I get into bed, I always drift off in under ten minutes. On weekends, I can sleep until noon, and I often do if I can. So, my issue isn't falling asleep - it's actually getting into bed.

I'm not a morning person by any stretch. It takes everything I have to drag myself out of bed at 6:30 every morning (even after hitting the Snooze button more than a few times). I'm not very social in the morning, and I'm the first to admit I can be a little grumpy. Leo knows this, and he tries so hard to ensure I get to bed at a decent hour so that I'm not completely exhausted and miserable when morning comes around. I can understand this; I mean, he has to wake up next to me every morning! He tries to enforce an 11:00 p.m. bedtime rule, and I honestly do try to obey it, but I just get so distracted! I'm either online, or caught up in a TV show, or having a late shower, or doing something that I don't really need to be doing. Leo has warned me time and time again, and after another late night, he finally did something about it. You got it - I got a spanking today.

He decided on 180 hand spanks on the bare bottom. He always insists on bare bottom spankings right from the beginning. There's no spanks over the pants, then the panties, and finally the bare bottom. It's always straight to the bare. While there are a few positions he likes me in, one of his preferred ones is when I am on all fours on the bed with my back arched and my butt up. I'm not very good at holding my position during spankings, and I'm the queen of trying to cover my bottom with my hands. Leo has combatted this with a new rule where I receive extra spanks for resisting or trying to block swats. Today, he told me that I could receive 150 spanks if I maintained good behaviour throughout the spanking. Instead, I chose to struggle and received the full 180. This is something that I really need to work on. Also today, I had been messing around on Leo's computer, which is his baby. It's his Mac computer, and being the computer whiz that he is, he treasures that thing (I'm more of a PC girl myself). He can't stand when I mix up his files, and he was not impressed when he found out what I was doing, especially when I knew I already had a spanking coming. So, I really wasn't doing myself any favours today.

I understand that this DD thing is new for us, and is very foreign for Leo especially. And while the fact that he's willing to put these rules in place and follow through with spankings is very meaningful, I think that I'm really craving a genuine spanking that will bring me to tears and have me truly contrite. Don't get me wrong - his hand spanks are hard, and they do hurt. I'm just not sure if they're completely getting the message across yet. I know that this is going to be a gradual process, and that it's going to take some time. I understand that a DD marriage doesn't blossom overnight. I don't want to push him, because I know that it's an adjustment for both of us and he's still trying to see where he fits in this whole thing, as am I. I suppose I just need to be patient and grateful that I at least have a husband who's willing to try!

For now, I should probably start winding down and getting ready for bed, or else I might have another spanking to write about tomorrow...

DD and Me

I have known for a long time that spanking is something that interests me. Yup, I was one of "those" kids - looking up the word spank in the dictionary sent a little thrill up my spine. But it wasn't until my twenties that I began to realize that spanking was something I wanted to incorporate into my life. It all began when I stumbled upon a question online outlining a husband who spanks his wife. I had never known anything about a lifestyle where a wife was punished for her behaviour, and needless to say I was shocked...and intrigued. Over the year that followed, I found as many spanking and DD blogs and websites as I could. I read and I watched and I followed the stories of everyday people who engaged in DD relationships. I wondered if me, and my independent feminist side, could ever learn to live a lifestyle like that. While I knew that I wanted it in my heart, I was doubtful, afraid, and even a little ashamed. I never thought that I would find a man who would agree to such a lifestyle, nor did I think that I would ever be able to really submit to someone.

Then along came Leo.

While Leo never expressed an interest in spanking to me, I could sense some form of dominance in his personality. He was also crazy about me, and though I felt a little tentative, I finally told him about my secret interest that I kept hidden from everyone else. At first, I only mentioned the spanking part, which Leo understood as erotic spanking. While erotic spanking can be fun, and certainly a turn-on, I knew that I needed to dig deeper to be satisfied. I began mentioning tidbits about people in DD relationships, and blogs that I read online. I never told him what the blogs were, but I slowly began painting a clearer picture for him about what I really wanted. I eventually showed him some of the blogs and websites that I had been visiting so frequently, and he became immersed in my hidden world. He seemed a little startled, and a little hestitant as well, but he has begun to warm up to the idea and he is really taking his role as a dominant husband and HOH seriously. And consequently, something has clicked into place for me.

I guess I should post a little bit about myself. I'm a girl in my 20s from Canada, and Leo and I have been married for about a year and a half. We've been together for five years. I'm an outdoorsy girl, but I also love shopping and travelling and just cuddling up to watch a movie. Right now, Leo and I are still trying to establish our limits within DD. We only began the DD aspect of our relationship a few months ago, so it's really just beginning to grow and move beyond the budding stage. I know that some couples spank for severe infractions, such as speeding, drinking and driving, etc. For the moment, Leo and I are just focussing on little issues and personal improvement. We are just testing the waters and seeing what is comfortable for us.

I would love to get to know other women (and men too) who are involved in DD relationships. I think this blog will give me the opportunity to share my experiences and learn from the examples of others who live this lifestyle. So, if anyone out there happens to come across this blog, please don't hestitate to leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you!