I'm just your average 20-something woman who gets spankings from her husband when she needs them...and loves every minute of it (usually!)

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Spanking - When To Draw the Line?

Because DD is so new for us, Leo and I are trying to establish what we feel are punishable offences. So far, I have been punished for smaller misdemeanors, including staying up too late (which I have already posted about), being disrespectful to him, and disobeying him when he asks me to do something. This seems to work just fine for us. However, I know that there are people in DD relationships who spank and punish for very serious offences, such as drinking and driving. Where does one draw the line?

This is a difficult question to answer, in my opinion. Someone might think that of course an offence that is as dangerous and as serious as drinking and driving is worthy of a hard spanking. But, on the other hand, someone else might argue that drinking and driving is too serious for a spanking. I have heard, as I am sure many others have, that women are spanked when they behave immaturely. Consequently, immature behaviour warrants a childish punishment - a spanking. However, should drinking and driving, or speeding, or drastically endangering oneself or another person be something to be punished childishly? These are most certainly not childish offences. Personally, I'm almost leaning to the side where I think that these issues need to be dealt with in an adult manner, and spanking doesn't seem to qualify as an appropriate respose to these situations. Endangering a life, whether it's your own or someone else's, is not the same as neglecting the laundry or talking back.

Then again, if I were to come home with a large fine from a speeding ticket and be severely paddled to the point where I could not sit down for days, I would most likely refrain from speeding in the future. That is the whole point of spanking, to acknowledge bad behaviour and prevent it from occurring again. It forces the spankee to reflect on their actions, and to reflect on why they are being spanked. I don't think that a spanking should be the only part of the punishment, though. As I just stated, the spankee needs to reflect. When your bottom is being spanked, it can be pretty hard to think clearly and focus on why you're getting the punishment for the first little while. I think that corner time and a lot of scolding and lecturing is also required. The spankee should want to not repeat the action in the future because they know it is wrong, not simply because they don't want a spanking.  Leo and I have not been placed in this position yet, so I can't speak from experience. This just seems logical to me.

I'm curious to know how others feel about this matter. I'm aware that all couples practise DD in a way that works for them. While some couples may spank for severe offences, others may not. What works for one couple may not work for another, and I completely comprehend this. I'm just interested to see what other people think about this subject, and whether or not they've ever been in a situation where this has been an issue. So far, I haven't committed any severe offences that would cause Leo to have to make a decision like this. I think I'll do my best to stay out of trouble so that he doesn't have to!

On a side note, I did receive the spanking I had been promised. I actually got it on Thursday night, but I didn't get a chance to post. I got 50 of my 250 swats with a small metal garden spade, like this:

It was a strange implement, but it definitely made an impression! The other 200 hand swats were hard, and they hurt. He lectured me the whole time, and I felt relieved by the time he stopped. I feel almost as though when he decides a certain number of swats, and tells me, it's not beneficial for me. If he tells me I'm getting 250 swats, I just count them and wait for it to be over. If he gave me a spanking where I didn't know when it would end, I would have the opportunity to focus on the issue at hand rather than the number of swats I have left. Hmm. Perhaps something for Leo and I to discuss!


  1. I found this interesting - whether something really serious should be dealt with through a spanking. I know my husband wouldn't but that's because he just doesn't take dd really seriously. It would only occur to him for the little annoying things. But that's my loss.

    I don't think of spanking as really a childish punishment. If you two, as adults, feel that this is a serious way to handle your issues then you have made a mature decision about it. It takes time to work out all the details. Sounds like you're progressing well. About the little shovel - OWWWW!


  2. Yes, I can see what you're saying. Spanking really isn't a childish punishment depending on how you look at it, and I do agree that a mature decision would have to have been made beforehand. I've read quite a few blogs where couples punish for severe offences, and it seems to really work for them! It takes time to work everything out, as you said.

    Thanks for commenting! :) Hope all is well!


  3. If you are using spanking as a punishment, then I think you have to look at what really works as a punishment. A punishment should change behavior. If you were doing something as serious as drinking and driving, or driving dangerously, then I don't think you could change that behavior with a spanking.

    In my case, I have had subs with problems that I felt were not within their real control. I didn't feel like punishing them would be good for them because I didn't think they would change in response to the punishment. It's not good to punish a sub if you know that they are going to continue to do the thing over and over. So, for that they have to make the change themselves, not with you in response to discipline.

    However, if you had someone that was a bit reckless with their driving, then giving them driving lessons under the threat of punishment for mistakes might well improve their performance. That might keep them (and others) safe.

    I think even if the person exhibits relatively severe misbehavior, then you can think about ways to create an environment where they will do better. You might want to think about what causes the more severe behavior and reduce the occurrence of that.

    I don't think of spanking as being limited to childish behavior or minor behavior problems. I think you can take on major issues, if you are sensitive and work at them carefully.

    I realize that this comment is a bit late, but your blog just showed up on my radar. Good luck with it!

  4. Another blogger from Canada!! Doesn't seem to be too many of us that blog about DD so welcome...

  5. If you do the crime you should pay for it. I wish I had a man that would spank me when I'm bad.