I'm just your average 20-something woman who gets spankings from her husband when she needs them...and loves every minute of it (usually!)

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Hot Weather and Hot Bottoms

Finally! After all of that rain, we're getting some sun! In fact, we're getting a lot of sun. Yesterday, there was a heat advisory issued and it was incredibly humid and hot; almost too hot. Today is much nicer, because the humidity is gone but the sun has been shining all day and the temperature isn't quite so high. I've finally been able to start wearing skirts and dresses again, which I was excited about until I realized that it makes it much easier for Leo to have access to my butt! I learned that the hard way yesterday when he gave me about 50 swats. He thought it was pretty funny, but I didn't!

We're struggling a bit with the difference between kinky spanking and discipline spanking. My interest in spanking started out with the idea of erotic spanking, and it wasn't until later that I discovered the existence of DD. So, obviously spanking is a turn-on for me. Leo knows that. Some spankings that are meant to be disciplinary end up making both of us a little "turned on" sometimes, and I feel like that defeats the whole purpose! I know that some couples incorporate other aspects of a punishment, such as corner time, mouth soaping, writing lines, etc. While none of those sound particularly appealing, I think that writing lines and standing in the corner for an hour probably wouldn't push my buttons, if you know what I mean. I'm completely fine with playful kinky spankings - don't get me wrong. I just want them to be separate from punishment spankings. However, I've already mentioned that I usually get spanked for minor issues, like breaking my bedtime curfew or talking back. While I definitely feel remorseful as my butt receives a volley of spanks, I don't feel as though I've truly disappointed him.  I haven't needed to be spanked for a major issue yet, and if (or should I say when) that day ever comes, then perhaps the dynamic of the spanking will change. I don't think there's anything kinky about being spanked for staying out way too late and forgetting to call, or spending way too much money, or anything of that nature. I think that Leo would be genuinely upset and angry in a scenario like that.

I've read about other people involved in this lifestyle who worry about "topping from the bottom". I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to go with the flow and give myself, and Leo especially, time to experiment and adjust. So far, this whole DD thing seems to be working out pretty well! I was doubtful when I suggested it, because most men are taught growing up that you don't ever hit a woman. I know how shocked I was when I read my first DD article, and I could only imagine how Leo would feel when his wife asked him if he would give her a hard spanking when she misbehaved. I had always fantasized about a husband who would just want to spank me, but luckily I met a man who was very open to trying and who found that this works for him too. I know that there will be lots of ups and downs and forks in the road, but we are both willing to make this work. I've been able to embrace this part of me, and Leo has been able to embrace a part of him that he never really knew about. Whatever happens on this journey, we've got each other...and that's the most important thing.


  1. Hi Isla,
    I know how you feel with regards to finding the divide between discipline and erotic spankings. I feel like I have already figured out what I want in regards to spanking and dd, but Sam is new to it so it's hard to be patient and let Sam manage the discipline in the way Sam feels appropriate. Topping from the bottom is def. my biggest struggle!

  2. I am the same! I know what I want in my head, and it's hard to refrain from telling Leo rather than letting him find his own way. I can see how it would be a bit of a struggle for the HOH too though...I mean, we are suggesting a complete change in lifestyle and then asking them to take the reins. I guess it just takes time to work out the kinks!

  3. Hi Isla, i agree its hard to differentiate between a punishment spanking and erotic spankings. HE is new to spanking altogether (but loves to spank me) and he finds it really hard to understand my need for discipline. His reasoning is that i dont do much wrong to be punished for. The four times i have received a punishment spanking for a major issue - the same issue i admit (which i just cant seem to learn my lesson from) i have certainly known the difference between the two. I think in part its the severity of the spanking and in part my own head space - i know when i have done wrong and in part his mood - i know when he is angry at me and its the build up - for example one severe spanking in particuarly i knew it was coming all day so the build up and supsense made it very intense but a relief when it was over with. And to be honest the feeling of love and respect i have for this man was overwhelming. And even though all spankings tend to result in making love afterward - even the punishment ones - there is a difference. I think it comes down to ones own head space - you know when you have done wrong.
    Its a difficult road, especially when like me its really hard to talk about and i get embarrassed very easily.
    I also think that when just starting out its not topping from the bottom - its communication and making our needs known - they cannot read our minds. We need to tell them what it is we actually need for this to be able to work so that in time they just "know".

  4. Hi kiwigirliegirl,

    I liked your point about making our needs known. Like you said, they're not mind readers. I think they might even begin to feel a little isolated if we retreated completely into the background, because they're new to this too.

    While I know that some couples don't make love after punishment spankings, I think it would be a nice way to know that all is forgiven and that you both truly love each other. I've said a couple of times on this blog that every DD relationship is different, so if it works for a couple, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Headspace really is everything.

    Buildup is the worst. It's effective punishment-wise, but also torturous! Leo has only done that once or twice to me, but I can feel your pain there.

    Thanks for commenting! :)