I'm just your average 20-something woman who gets spankings from her husband when she needs them...and loves every minute of it (usually!)

Thursday, 19 May 2011

DD and Me

I have known for a long time that spanking is something that interests me. Yup, I was one of "those" kids - looking up the word spank in the dictionary sent a little thrill up my spine. But it wasn't until my twenties that I began to realize that spanking was something I wanted to incorporate into my life. It all began when I stumbled upon a question online outlining a husband who spanks his wife. I had never known anything about a lifestyle where a wife was punished for her behaviour, and needless to say I was shocked...and intrigued. Over the year that followed, I found as many spanking and DD blogs and websites as I could. I read and I watched and I followed the stories of everyday people who engaged in DD relationships. I wondered if me, and my independent feminist side, could ever learn to live a lifestyle like that. While I knew that I wanted it in my heart, I was doubtful, afraid, and even a little ashamed. I never thought that I would find a man who would agree to such a lifestyle, nor did I think that I would ever be able to really submit to someone.

Then along came Leo.

While Leo never expressed an interest in spanking to me, I could sense some form of dominance in his personality. He was also crazy about me, and though I felt a little tentative, I finally told him about my secret interest that I kept hidden from everyone else. At first, I only mentioned the spanking part, which Leo understood as erotic spanking. While erotic spanking can be fun, and certainly a turn-on, I knew that I needed to dig deeper to be satisfied. I began mentioning tidbits about people in DD relationships, and blogs that I read online. I never told him what the blogs were, but I slowly began painting a clearer picture for him about what I really wanted. I eventually showed him some of the blogs and websites that I had been visiting so frequently, and he became immersed in my hidden world. He seemed a little startled, and a little hestitant as well, but he has begun to warm up to the idea and he is really taking his role as a dominant husband and HOH seriously. And consequently, something has clicked into place for me.

I guess I should post a little bit about myself. I'm a girl in my 20s from Canada, and Leo and I have been married for about a year and a half. We've been together for five years. I'm an outdoorsy girl, but I also love shopping and travelling and just cuddling up to watch a movie. Right now, Leo and I are still trying to establish our limits within DD. We only began the DD aspect of our relationship a few months ago, so it's really just beginning to grow and move beyond the budding stage. I know that some couples spank for severe infractions, such as speeding, drinking and driving, etc. For the moment, Leo and I are just focussing on little issues and personal improvement. We are just testing the waters and seeing what is comfortable for us.

I would love to get to know other women (and men too) who are involved in DD relationships. I think this blog will give me the opportunity to share my experiences and learn from the examples of others who live this lifestyle. So, if anyone out there happens to come across this blog, please don't hestitate to leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you!


  1. Hi Isla. I have been interested in spanking for the longest time too since i was a little girl. My first husband was into it with me so that was all good. We were just delving into "real" spankings as he called it for wrong doings and then things went wrong and we divorced for different reasons. Anyway. Im now in a new relationship which is permanent. We are engaged to be married. He is very new to spanking. Its not something that i can talk about easily and its taken me a long while to bring up the subject. But eventually i did becuase i think i sensed he has it in him. He is a very dominant man and I love it and he has surprised himself as to how much he likes it to spank me. Now im trying to introduce more real punishment spankings. But he finds that hard to understand, mainly because i dont really do anything wrong as such - but he has punished me a few times now over the same issue (obviously im a slow learner). Its a hard road to travel this one. Communication is the key but if you are like me i find it extremely hard to talk about - i cannot even say the words spanking an dpunishment out loud (go figure that one. At the moment i have backed off with the talking about it as i think ive overstepped the mark a little and he I think he thinks im obsessed and its all i think about. So im feeling a little sad and neglected right now - it will pass i am sure. We havent spanked for a while (probably about a week now) and i think its probably the reason im feeling out of sorts - but my problem is being able to talk to him about it and ask for a spanking. Right now i dont feel like i can ask. I long to be at the stage where he will just do it without me asking or hinting. But yes, its a roller coaster right this one. Good luck to you :) ill keep reading and posting on your blog.

  2. I'm the first to admit that I can sometimes be a brat on purpose when I feel like I want/need a spanking! Like you, I don't feel comfortable asking for a spanking yet, or even uttering the word out loud.

    I think that at first, our HOHs don't realize how important the spankings and the dominance are to us. They understand that it's something we want to do, but a lot of the time, they don't completely grasp the fact that it's a lifestyle commitment. Patience and communication are so important. Laying out some ground rules can be helpful; for example, I have a bedtime and I know that if I break it, I don't need to hint. I automatically get a spanking. That's an easy way to stop you from wondering what behaviour will and won't get you a spanking.

    I know that there are some HOHs who keep their own blogs. If you feel comfortable, maybe you could show him a few? I think it's important for the HOH to not feel alone and confused in all of this. If he knows that there are other men out there who engage in the same sort of lifestyle, he might not feel so hesitant.

    This is definitely a journey, and there's a lot of forks in the road that aren't expected. I believe that if you just go with it, whatever happens is meant to be. It's the journey, and not the destination, that's so important!

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm sure this stage will pass and you'll feel back to normal in no time. :) Talk to you soon!

  3. HI Isla, its a very frustrating stage and i feel myself getting very upset and wound up about it. All i want to do is just yell at him fgs spank me just because and i know ill feel better. But he said to me last night he is the boss and he will spank me when he decides to. And i know that this is what this is all about but ...... i need to back off for a while - he already thinks im obsessed :(
    hopefully soon. Between us we have two kids - his is 5 and mine almost a teenager. Next weekend we dont have them so maybe ill lay off the subject for a week and then im going to say something next weekend and see what happens. Gosh another week without a spanking - im going to go insane :(
    its not fair sometimes. One minute he sayd he will spank me anytime i want to this :( no fair HOH!!

  4. Topping from the bottom is an issue that so many people in DD relationships deal with. But, there's a difference between telling him to do something and telling him how you're feeling or making a suggestion. Just because he is the HOH doesn't mean that you can't tell him if something is wrong or if you feel something is missing. Communication is the most important thing. He is probably still adjusting to the whole spanking thing, and it will take time. While you're trying to find your role as a submissive, he's trying to find his role as HOH. For some men, that's not an easy process. It takes a lot of time and a lot of communication for you both to feel comfortable in your roles. I'm sure everything will work out. And who knows, maybe he'll surprise you!

  5. Hi Isla,
    Yeah it worked out ok. He did surprise me. I was told on Sunday morning that i would be going over his knee. And i did. I got what I needed yesterday morning. Im feeling a whole heap more settled and calm - and still uncomfortable LOL. He had decided that because i dont actually do anything to misbehave as such he is going to count up my small infractions during the week and then i have to account for them. I guess when i have done something seriously wrong then i will ahve to account for it straight away.
    He is very comfortable about being in charge. Its him naturally. I am just going to have to tell him when i feel i need a spanking until we get the hang of things. Good things come to those who wait :)
    thanks for listening and the advice :)

  6. Great! I'm so glad it worked out! :) Have you guys considered maintenance spankings? Like where you're spanked on a regular basis (daily, weekly, whatever) just to make sure you keep behaving? It's different than a punishment spanking, so you don't have to do anything wrong to get one. Good things definitely come to those who wait. I hope it's not TOO long before you can sit comfortably again! ;) Talk soon!

  7. LOL, thanks Isla. Yes, id love maintenance spankings - not talk to him about it yet. I will though in time. He tells me he will spank me anytime i want so for the moment this is good with me. Plus i am starting weight watchers tonight - i want to lose 20kgs and im thinking that maybe if there is a week i gain he could possible consider punishing me...same with the exercise.
    But then i feel that im topping....i would dearly love for him to just say all that to me. Patience is a virtue im told :)
    P.S. - i love your little picture :)

  8. Haha, thank you :) I do too. I don't think that there's anything wrong with you suggesting punishments for not meeting your weight goals. Asking and telling are two totally different things, and if it means a lot to you, then it should mean a lot to him. Whatever you choose to do, it seems like you're pretty happy right now nonetheless, which is good. Take care!