I realize that this makes me sound like an insomniac, but I assure you I'm definitely not. I love my sleep. Once I get into bed, I always drift off in under ten minutes. On weekends, I can sleep until noon, and I often do if I can. So, my issue isn't falling asleep - it's actually getting into bed.
I'm not a morning person by any stretch. It takes everything I have to drag myself out of bed at 6:30 every morning (even after hitting the Snooze button more than a few times). I'm not very social in the morning, and I'm the first to admit I can be a little grumpy. Leo knows this, and he tries so hard to ensure I get to bed at a decent hour so that I'm not completely exhausted and miserable when morning comes around. I can understand this; I mean, he has to wake up next to me every morning! He tries to enforce an 11:00 p.m. bedtime rule, and I honestly do try to obey it, but I just get so distracted! I'm either online, or caught up in a TV show, or having a late shower, or doing something that I don't really need to be doing. Leo has warned me time and time again, and after another late night, he finally did something about it. You got it - I got a spanking today.
He decided on 180 hand spanks on the bare bottom. He always insists on bare bottom spankings right from the beginning. There's no spanks over the pants, then the panties, and finally the bare bottom. It's always straight to the bare. While there are a few positions he likes me in, one of his preferred ones is when I am on all fours on the bed with my back arched and my butt up. I'm not very good at holding my position during spankings, and I'm the queen of trying to cover my bottom with my hands. Leo has combatted this with a new rule where I receive extra spanks for resisting or trying to block swats. Today, he told me that I could receive 150 spanks if I maintained good behaviour throughout the spanking. Instead, I chose to struggle and received the full 180. This is something that I really need to work on. Also today, I had been messing around on Leo's computer, which is his baby. It's his Mac computer, and being the computer whiz that he is, he treasures that thing (I'm more of a PC girl myself). He can't stand when I mix up his files, and he was not impressed when he found out what I was doing, especially when I knew I already had a spanking coming. So, I really wasn't doing myself any favours today.
I understand that this DD thing is new for us, and is very foreign for Leo especially. And while the fact that he's willing to put these rules in place and follow through with spankings is very meaningful, I think that I'm really craving a genuine spanking that will bring me to tears and have me truly contrite. Don't get me wrong - his hand spanks are hard, and they do hurt. I'm just not sure if they're completely getting the message across yet. I know that this is going to be a gradual process, and that it's going to take some time. I understand that a DD marriage doesn't blossom overnight. I don't want to push him, because I know that it's an adjustment for both of us and he's still trying to see where he fits in this whole thing, as am I. I suppose I just need to be patient and grateful that I at least have a husband who's willing to try!
For now, I should probably start winding down and getting ready for bed, or else I might have another spanking to write about tomorrow...
We do have the bed time problem in common. I hate going to bed. I'm a great sleeper and I feel I get enough sleep but Nick want's me in bed by 11. If he's gone it's more like 2:00. When he insists I do it but if he doesn't do anything to back it up I start getting later and later.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you started blogging. The best way to get other to come here and read is to comment on other blogs like you did mine. Then people follow the link back to read.
PK
Thanks PK! Your blog is one of the ones that I check most frequently, and you're a big inspiration. I've read on your blog that you are always looking for Fantasy Friday stories, and I had some spare time today to write one. If you're ever stuck, feel free to use any stories I post - I'd love to get some feedback from other readers!
ReplyDelete-Isla
I also feel a need to be brought to tears through a punishment spanking. Its happened once over a pretty major issue (which I continually fail to learn from - anyway thats another story LOL). But yes he was majorly angry at me. I had known it was coming all day - I discovered the mistake i had made and had to confess when i got home from work - which i didnt do straight away (which made it worse) but when I eventaully did my goodness he was mad at me. I went to bed before him and he came in and i was scared to death not of him but of teh punishment that was to come. He had me lay face down on the bed and he spanked me with the belt and the cane and from teh first it made me cry.
ReplyDeleteBut i think it wasnt from the pain as such (because my goodness the cane hurts) but from the emotion of it all, the tense build up because i knew it was coming, becuase i knew i had done wrong and I felt so guilty. The relief afterward when he hugged and kissed me and said he loved me and asked if i ws ok. I felt loved, cherished and forgiven. The respect and love i have for this man was overwhelming. The "crime" has not been forgotten and it keeps getting mentioned with that raised eyebrow look (if you know what i mean) which makes me squirm and sheepish.
We have our rocky moments on this new journey of ours but i think in the long run its going to be the best thing ever.
I haven't been spanked for anything major yet, which is a good thing I think. It really is the guilt factor that makes the tears flow. Leo has given me some hard spankings for little issues, and even though my butt's on fire, I haven't cried yet. I think the whole reason I want to cry is for that emotional release, but like I said, I'm not being spanked for anything where I have a lot of emotional buildup. I'm sure the day will come when I get that spanking that brings me to tears.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I definitely know what you mean with the raised eyebrow look - my stomach knots every time!
I was thinking that i too might start blogging. Just a way to work and process things in my own head to other people who know how im thinking and how im feeling. I cant talk to him too much about this. He wants to spank me, he loves to spank me, but i also think he thinkgs im obsessed now :( my fault becuase i cant talk properly so i seem to talk on and on and not really say what i want to say and now i feel like its too late to say anymore and now i dont feel like i can even ask for a spanking - which i dearly need right now :(
ReplyDeleteAny advice as to how to blog - not sure how to go about it?
I think that blogging is a great idea! I was an avid reader of many blogs long before I began my own. By having your own blog, you're able to think things through and decipher how you're really feeling. Plus, you get to communicate with other people who are experiencing or have experienced the same things. DD isn't always easy, but the hard things might feel a little easier if you have support from others who are just like you. Just start your own blog and write about what's on your mind! Commenting on other blogs will lead people to yours. If you start one, I'll be sure to read! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Isla,
ReplyDeleteYeah, sometimes i feel like im kinda blogging when commenting on other peoples - which is not good and not what i mean to do. So starting my own blog is a good idea. Ive gotten as far as creating an account on blogger....and added blogs that i am following. Now i just have to think of a name and start writing :) - harder than i thought actually LOL.
Oh and btw - i got my spanking yesterday morning that was so desparate for :) - im feeling so much better and calmer now. Though a certain phrase comes to mind be careful what you wish for LOL...coz i can still feel it today! He was not gentle with me! That brings to mind something i could blog about :) - and as you can see i love to chat :) hehe